NASA has named its latest rocket to the moon, Artemis. She was the Greek goddess of the hunt and the moon (among other things – childbirth being one … America’s abortion schism problems are heading to the moon!)
This rocket is apparently the most powerful rocket America has ever invented. Wow! Even more than the lesser model which sent men to the moon in 1969, when JFK snapped his fingers and bragged about hitting the moon before the decade was out – big talk needs a big rocket and a big Kennedy ego – even though the Soviet Union was beating America at EVERY STEP of the moon race in the ‘60s.
Beyond belief that the USA was able to send a rocket to the moon and put men on its surface, have them walk around, take selfies, leave a flag and footprints – looked great on the cover of Time – and got them all back safely – on the FIRST SHOT!
(Why’d all the previous shots fuck up? Why’d so many America astronauts die trying to get a rocket off the pad – don’t hear about them, do ya? Google “Gus Grissom” – who was more qualified than Neil “the Alien” Armstrong, by a long moon shot – and the other 2 who died, and how old Gus pissed off NASA saying how stupid and shitty they were … and then he ‘accidently’ they got killed in a capsule in 1967 – when the program still wasn’t ready to go. Like I’m about to say: a pseudo-Nazi organ.)
Holy fuck, Yankee, when you wanna boldly go where only Commie Russians have gone before … unless, you were lying … and Kubrick was well-paid (with money and film cameras lenses) to keep his mouth shut. (Yes, we’ve all noticed the strange messages in “The Shining”, which was filmed, roughly, 10 years after the ‘moon landing’. And Russia has had so few good filmmakers – no Hollywoodland there – since after Eisenstein and the film pioneers of the 1920s, when the moon was still made of cheese.)
China is on the moon (not ‘boots in the ground’, but maybe a high-tech skateboard, like the ones NASA keeps sending and losing contact with on Mars.) So America needs to hunt China on the moon, to see what’s going on up there, thus an appropriate name. Whoever holds the higher ground, wins the war, right? I know my Sun Tzu.
Dear NASA, I don’t believe your shit. Yeah, I’m one of those! Von Braun, the Nazi, created you after WW2, so you are a pseudo-Nazi organization, which enjoys disinformation. I’m sure I’m highly misinformed – it’s all in my head – those voices!
Will you be sending up another astronaut who likes to smuggle aboard a golf club and a ball, offsetting the calculated weight of the rocket and fuel needed to push a payload through gravity, putting himself, his fellow astronauts, and the entire mission in jeopardy? (Should’ve been fired, if not sent to jail for trying to kill everyone just for a “moon shot”, but then again, the world sees what you do with criminals high-up in your government.)
How about another dune buggy! Gotta dismantle it, then the astronauts have to waste time and energy putting it together just to …? Drive around a short space on the lunar surface to get rocks. An expensive day at the beach, what? Why not lift off in the lunar module, float where you need it, land again – you’re so good at landing. But no, a dune buggy was your perfect answer …
Remember: this was all during the reign of terror known as Richard Nixon. (Now we have a Trump, so there’s even more reason to distract Americans and the world from what’s going down on the ground. The air force admitting the existence of aliens didn’t make a stir … no one cares about aliens anymore, “The X Files” have been cancelled for a while.)
And all white males with crewcuts from the 196os LOVE golf – and the groovy cats and kittens – Frankie and Annette, those younger generation kids – LOVE to hang out on the beach in their dune buggies. Apollo, like Artemis, shall make The People LOVE whatever dick is in the White House again … America is looking really bad on the world stage … approval ratings don’t make jet fuel.
(Only politicians out of touch with everything and everyone could come up with something so ridiculously transparent. Nixon tried to retrieve his image from the morass of Vietnam and wanting to nuke Cambodia, but he only made it worse by heading to Watergate. And amongst all this, men walked on the moon? Sure they did … are Martians in the room with us right now, Mr. Nixon?)
JFK and Nixon said they were able to get the rocket up several times between ’69 and ’72, and yet the Artemis rocket launch had to be scrapped due to politics and money. And, yet again, the Soviets have NEVER been on the moon? Why? Money and politics, or they have no film industry to create a good lie? And, in 2022, they still haven’t been there, walking around, planting whatever flag they call their own now. See how a lie begats a lie?
Sure, sure, NASA … aren’t you a right-wing organization? Still sportin’ those crewcuts and praying to Chuck Yeager after visiting the airport bar for just one more martini?
The hunt is dead and the Chinese fox has gotten away ‘cuz Americans just don’t know when to stop being addicted to their own bloated Uncle Sam image and admit that they’re terrible at exploration, but great at bullshit.
PS, Artemis (if you ever get off the launch pad without blowing up and killing everybody on board … 1986 isn’t that far away in time, but, sure, we’ll believe you fixed all those pesky murderous problems): Watch out for the Van Allen Belt … I hear it causes cancer at the molecular level in anything biological.
Better send up robots … but not solar powered and easily covered in dust … those dead skateboards are getting lonely.
