GESUNDHEIT, Germany – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of the Sauerkraut Experimental Lab #7, have confirmed that the rumor that a male robot doll assaulted a female robot doll are in fact true.
A spokesperson for the lab, when asked about the physical assault stated that it was just a totally made up hoax perpetrated by a disgruntled janitor.
The rep for SEL added that the robot dolls all meet very strict standards and they are programmed to actually be model robot dolls; so if one suddenly takes on the personality of a sexual predator (i.e. Jeffrey Epstein, Donald Trump, or Matt Gaetz), then it is just a very rare occurrence.
The company did say that in the interest of total transparency, the male robot doll has been locked up in the corporate vault until a full and complete investigation is completed.
SIDENOTE: The female robot doll that was physically assaulted has been sent to a special maintenance department within the company where it is going through rigorous testing.
