After a non stop barrage of natural disasters has made climate change deniers look like ninnies, several high profile culprits have started changing their tunes. Although, not everyone is ready to completely commit to the problem.
Jim DeMint, President of The Heritage Foundation stated that, "My winter home burned to the ground because of the drought in California, and my summer home in Texas just got washed away in all the flooding. The escalation of dangerous weather around the country has had some very direct consequences on me. If my organization wasn't reliant on funding from a major energy company I would be inclined to admit that something is going on with the weather, but I'm not sure I would 100% state that climate change is real."
Oklahoma Senator, Jame Inhofe stated that he started giving climate change more consideration after, "My mansion was flooded with water instead of campaign money this year, and I need to reverse those two flows." The Senator went on to elaborate, "with many of my constituents being directly effected by weather it is getting harder and harder to convince them that I am right, and that people are just exaggerating the effects of "a little water in the basement.""
After several embarrassing instances where his legendary comb over was exposed by extreme weather, Donald Trump was quoted as saying, "I never believed in any of this climate nonsense until my mousse could no longer brave the elements. That stuff is almost made of cement, and if the wind is blowing bad enough to move it, something is definitely going on!"
Retired atmospheric physicist, Richard Lindzen has recently stated, "Now that I'm no longer receiving grant money from anybody I can say whatever I want."
The retired professor was asked what his current opinion on all of the crazy weather events happening in the United States, "Well the truth of the matter is..."
The professor interrupted the interview by answering his ringing phone, "Yes? Yes I am, can you call me back? Oh, I was just going to say... How much? OK."
Professor Lindzen hung up his phone and continued, "Sorry about that. I was just about to say that my opinion on climate change is the same as it has always been."
Marco Rubio, the Florida Senator who is famous for declaring himself "not a scientist" was asked if he had changed his opinion on the subject at all, "Of course I have. There is a large portion of the electorate that believes something is going on, and I, for one, would love to convince those constituents that I think like they do. Did I mention that I'm running for President?"
