Royalty Spoof News

22 March 2025

Her Majesty Mistakenly Locked in Men's Wimbledon Locker Room

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was found unharmed on Friday afternoon at the All-England Lawn & Tennis Club in London. Her discovery was preceded by a failed and unnerving thirty-five minute search of the Wimbledon tennis grounds by her security...

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New Princess On The Block

Princess Mary has a new rival. New princess on the block, Athena Alexiadis, has made a name for herself very quickly, being just named the princess of a newly-discovered, luxe European island named Florenza.

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Of Cabbages Or King Lear

Yes, let’s get poetic. The royal family of the United Kingdom? They make a great oil painting and keep the rest of the world civil. Well, maybe not so much anymore, but still, the only thing left near to having good manners. Well, forget the recent w…

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King Charles on Tour for Democracy, but Not the French Kind

King Charles was in a sticky wicket recently. And for an old reason … The French! Mon Dieu! They were revolting again. I mean, having a revolution, or a protest, or just burning things because they didn’t want to retire two years later. THAT was w…

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Prince Philip In East End Pub "scuffle"

Reports are coming in of an alleged punch up between the Duke of Edinburgh and the landlord of an East End pub earlier today. Palace officials refused to comment on the incident which happened in the bar of the "Fox and Gynaecologist" in the Bethnal...

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Charles: Camilla could be One Legged Pirate

In a mad scramble to obscure the revelation he has long planned for Camilla, Duchess of Co-Respondent to become Queen, The Prince of Wales has suggested his second wife might alternatively become a one-legged pirate trawling the waters off the coast...

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The 'Royals' - An Ongoing Soap Opera

Storm in a "royal teacup" as UK tearoom owner ejects non-royalists!

Prince William to marry a Vogon

Prince Harry's Royal Shame

Prince William/Kate Middleton - Her Name Was "Too Short" Says Mail On Sunday

Prince William and Duchess Kate Receive Conjugal Logo Thus Creating New Beast

Donald Trump Could Become Interim Monarch Of The UK

HRH Phil The Greek Mourns Loss Of Navy Career

Naked Greed! Fergie Exposed Shagging for Money to Pay Mounting Bills!

Ron and Fred on The British Secret Intelligence Agencies.

Is QEII The Greatest Briton Ever?

Interview of the Year, Part One: Dr. Mason Mason meets blue blooded royalty in David Murray.

Why Do Royal Men End up with Divorced Women for Wives? Fatal Attraction?

Why did several of the Royal Men have to have divorced Women as their Wives - with all sorts of attractive single Women around? Is it some emotional longing for Mommy? Anyway - Edward the Eighth had to Have twice divorced Wallace Simpson.

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New TV Entertainment Program the 'Masked Royals' will probably be Fun to Watch

TV producers think that most of the public would like to see some royals come out sing, dance or tell jokes (and make a general fool out of themselves.) (In addition to the current royals doing it for free). But - in developing the show - the…

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Prince Harry's Brief Stand-Up Comedy Career Goes Horribly Wrong

In his most misguided effort yet since quitting the monarchy without already having a job, ex-Duke Harry has decided to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. The Man Who Wouldn't Be King and his lovely wife, Meghan, booked another interview with Queen…

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Prince William To Lose His Teeth Due To Rare Condition - Wife Kate's Could Soon Follow!

On the advice of royal physicians Prince William is to have all of his teeth extracted. Unlike normal people William's teeth have never stopped growing though up until just a few weeks ago there rate of growth had remained more or less steady. Most o...

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Rock & Royal for Jubilee

For want of something constructive to do between tours, reject X-Factor 'judge' and would be singa' Gary 'shortarse' Barlow has been given the job of cobbling together yet another Royal Concert. In preparation for the upcoming 'Diamond Jubilee Ro...

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Both Thrilled That Queen Elizabeth Did Not Have Them Deported To Siberia

BAYOU CANE, Louisiana – Prince Harry and his wife, the lusciously-lovely Meghan Markle, were visiting the world famous Monsieur Qui Qui Swamp down in the heart of the swamp bayous, Bayou Cane this week. She told Maximus Bedstraw, of The Grandiose...

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Harry and Meagan release long-awaited book about NY car chase

A few weeks after they were chased through the streets of New York City for over 2 hours like dogs, Harry and Meghan have released the much-anticipated tell-all book about the incident. The book, titled ed, tell-all book about the incident. The book,…

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On Eve of Kate Middleton's Wedding to Prince William: Most Brits Admit They Still Wank off To Henry Tudor

In a quick survey of British citizenry 65% admitted that they still fantasize about Henry Tudor while masturbating. Kate Middleton came in a distant second at 12% followed by the late George III, also known as "Mad" King George. The survey reporte...

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The Queen Reveals Liking For Throbbing Gristle

In the unlikeliest of associations imaginable, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, has revealed that she is a fan of industrial music pioneers, Throbbing Gristle. TG, formed in Hull in 1975 from the remnants of COUM Transmissions, stunned audiences with...

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England Prepares For Scottish Independence

On Burns Night, 2012, the BBC broadcast to English viewers and listeners, Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, reading poems by Robert Burns. Few will forget the chilling threat that followed this attack. 'Ah will continue tae reid th' poems ay Rabbie Burns at ye sassenachs,' vowed a visibly crazed Mr Salmond, 'until Scootlund achieves independence. Indeed,' he added, with wild eyes bulging...

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'Too many Nazis in Royal Enclosure': Ascot racecourse chief quits

Ascot, Berks - (Associated Mess): Douglas Erskine Crumbs-of-Comfort, head of Royal Ascot racecourse redevelopment, has suddenly quit his job following thousands of complaints that this year's June meeting was beset with hordes of riff-raff and &q...

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New protocols announced following Irish Royal visit

Following on from the Royal visit to Ireland, Buckingham Palace has announced a number of protocols in relation to future visits by H M The Queen. The chief lady in waiting, Lady Huriup-Imlate, said, that from now on, people who meet Her Majesty: 1. Must not touch Her Majesty, even for "some small change for a cup of tea" and should certainly never try to sell her a copy of 'The Big Issue'...

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German Aristocrat Plunges To His Death One Month Too Early, Say Police

A German aristocrat, found dead after falling from his fourth-floor balcony in an exclusive area of West London, died one month too early, say police from Scotland Yard.

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Queen is great-grandma

The Queen becomes a great-grandmother as Peter Phillips' wife Autumn has a baby daughter Yes, our dear Queen is a great-grandmother and, although delighted, she does say that she is now beginning to 'feel her age' however she assures us she still...

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