Dominic Raab set to return the keys, and all of the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA's
Following his recent resignation, Dominic Raab is set to return the keys, as well as all of the A's. A showdown meeting with Rishi Sunak started with the words, "Raab, you are a maverick, and you can't be trusted around people. You are off the cas…
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Government thinking about Privatising Gravity
Strapped for cash, a political party peopled with a few billionaires is thinking that they might have to privatise Gravity in order to balance the books. The naturally occurring phenomenon is useful for keeping things close to the ground and would…
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A British Woman Wants To Be Transferred To A Men's Prison
London — A woman Erin Hebblewhite, 30 who petioned the United Nations to be transferred to a men's prison won her case against the disgraceful British Parliament who striped the British crown of it's rightful inheritance of power, causing Britain ce…
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UK Cabinet Are All Body Doubles
It started with the supposed visit of Vladimir Putin to the destroyed Ukrainian town of Mariupol. Observers noted that there were distinct differences of the Russian tyrant's chin-flab in a matter of days, comparing photographs. Tongues were soon wag…
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Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive"
Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive" during a mince pie summit at Downing Street yesterday. Whilst eating mince pies and drinking egg nog yesterday, Union leaders told the Prime Minister that, indeed - cuts in c...
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Parliament Toilets To Be Fitted With Thrutching Bars
Parliament this morning authorised a £10 million scheme to fit thrutching bars in all toilet stalls in the house, prompting calls from opposition MPs for the resignation of Gordon Brown and the abolition of slavery. Dave 'do nothing' Cameron decli...
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Brown recants
Kwasi Kwarteng's mini-budget will help millions
Solving the Population Problem
Supplies of Political Charisma at an old time high
Ontarians protest outside Queen's Park, Toronto
Moustachio'd Lady Threat
Cthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle
Big Cat to Clear Downing Street of Vermin
Single House Blown Down in Freak Hurricane in Downing Sreet
Tory peer Howard Flight apologises for slagging off benefit claimants
Cameron Declared nearly bankrupt!
Foreign Secretary's Reputation Restored
UK government admit to gerontophilia
A UK government spokesman has admitted that spending cuts aimed to hit everyone under the age of 66 were implemented because they want to shag old people. 'We want to have sex with old people' admitted a government spokesperson. 'This is why we...
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Worst Ever Tsunami
This time of year is always high on calamities; but nobody on earth was prepared for this one. A mighty tsunami of human excrement that had accumulated in the North Atlantic over many years has been unleashed. Myriad towns and villages in North A...
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If you think I am bad, wait until the next one, says Liz Truss
Hello, Liz Truss here. You may remember me for my world-leading work on opening up Pork Markets in Beijing. You may also remember me for being judgemental about Cheese production. However, as I am now your Prime Minister, things are going to ch…
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Larry has Image Problems
The new No 10 cat, engaged to deal with the rat problem at the address is worried about his image, sources close to the Prime Minister revealed today. 'Larry is not a lamb' explained Cameron's new Communications Officer 'but he is beginning to loo...
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The Wampyr Comes to the Party
Big Ben rang out the New Year … and a story got quickly buried. There were … things … seen to flutter around the big clock. And around other London landmarks: Parliament, the House of Wax, Sherlock Holmes Cocaine Emporium, Canterbury Cathedral es…
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A Return To Tory Values Sparks Violence On The Streets Of Britain - What A Surprise!
It would appear that certain individuals pay no heed whatsoever to lessons which should have been learned long ago. As yesterday's student protest marches erupted in violence in a number of cities, tired critics of Conservative policy could only s...
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Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
MPs soon to be shown yellow and red cards
Tired of MPs yelling at each other during debates, much like children on the schoolyard, John Berkow,Speaker of The House of Commons is said to be thinking of following the methods of reprimanding individuals used by football referees. John Berkow...
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Coalition to appoint a new Minister for Chaff
The government announced today that a new cabinet post was to be created. They have decided that the creation and promotion of Chaff is a full time role. Chaff is the material that is ejected by military aircraft as a countermeasure when they are...
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"Going, Going...pong!!" - The ConDem coalition government doomed for 2015
With his popularity going down faster than a man with erectile dysfunction part-time Prime Minister, Do-nothing-Dave and his ever desperate Coalition Government, are destined for the dustbin of history come the next general election on May 7th 2015!...
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Home Secretary accidentally sends private email to Vladimir Putin
Suella Braverman is reported to have sent the Russian President a recipe by email. The message, sent from her work email to her personal email account and then forwarded, attached a Word document entitled Roasted Asylum Seeker with Beans. Miss Bra…
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On Second Thought: Defense Ministry Declines to Commission HMS Astute saying "It's more important to fund free Education than War Mongering!"
The Ministry of Defense today said the reason they recently made the captain of the ill fated Billion Dollar Sub HMS Astute redundant after he recently ran it aground on a mud bank, was that the ill named ASTUTE was no longer needed after a commitmen...
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Chinese Submarine on Secret Sex Mission
It was red faces all around again for British security forces when it was announced yesterday that a Chinese nuclear submarine had been monitoring Parliament for the last six months. The sub had apparently been submerged in the River Thames, adjacent...
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Politician's Dictionary
Amarulence: How politicians think of the voters - Bitterness, spite. Aphnology: What Politicians are preoccupied with - The study of wealth. Back-hander: Only the very new, or the two honest MP's in Parliament would not know what this means - A bribe or illegal inducement. Bank: Where politicians prefer not to store their ill-gotten back-handers and bribes, preferring to use Overseas...
Read full storyFunny Parliament Headlines
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Australia bans "Mating"
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Chinese Submarine on Secret Sex Mission
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Parliament Toilets To Be Fitted With Thrutching Bars
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On Second Thought: Defense Ministry Declines to Commission HMS Astute saying "It's more important to fund free Education than War Mongering!"
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Larry has Image Problems
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Coalition to appoint a new Minister for Chaff
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"Going, Going...pong!!" - The ConDem coalition government doomed for 2015
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If you think I am bad, wait until the next one, says Liz Truss
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The Wampyr Comes to the Party
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Dominic Raab set to return the keys, and all of the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA's
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MPs soon to be shown yellow and red cards
-
UK government admit to gerontophilia
-
A Return To Tory Values Sparks Violence On The Streets Of Britain - What A Surprise!
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Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive"
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Politician's Dictionary
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Worst Ever Tsunami
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Home Secretary accidentally sends private email to Vladimir Putin
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UK Cabinet Are All Body Doubles
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Government thinking about Privatising Gravity
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A British Woman Wants To Be Transferred To A Men's Prison
