The Hermes bag wars

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 28 June 2023

image for The Hermes bag wars
A bag, is a bag, is a bag.

Rumor has it, allegedly, that you can not purchase a $50,000 Hermes purse/bag unless you have already previously spent about $50,000 before at Hermes.

That could be about 4 saddles (they originally sold harnesses and bridles for the carriage trade) or about 80 silk scarves at about $500 each. The math is foggy.

Anyway, though Hermes denies such a bounty practice, the practice is said to be allegedly alive and kicking and going on at many of their landmark stores around the world. Women like that big H buckle on their bag because it signifies, “I made it, and you didn’t.”

Shallow, but accurate.

There was a riding instructor/trainer near Silicon Valley famed for her short temper. Nothing was ever the horse’s fault. She would blow her stack if any of her riders missed strides between jumps and fell off, blaming the fallen rider, and comforting the horse with a hug and a pat, saying it was okay, but never offering a helping hand to the ditched rider spitting out wheat grass and redwood chips.

So, of course, when the Neiman Marcus salesperson corrected the instructor/trainer on her pronunciation of Her-mice, there was an explosion. Failing to graciously accept the verbal correction, she said, “If I’m paying the big bucks for a silk scarf, I can call it Her-shit.”

Hermes is pronounced: Er-mez. Tricky but easy.

A boyfriend from Bellevue, Washington, hand-made a $100,000 Hermes Birkin bag for his girlfriend for only $400.00. He found the pattern on the internet and went to work. Besides a loving gift, that’s a saving of $90,600.00.

No club spending bounty requirement was necessary.


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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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