When the last Muslim Sultan surrendered Granada to Europe: Unraveling history's echoes in the modern day

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Wednesday, 31 May 2023

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"I wish I was born a Muslim," explains Felton.

On January 2, 1492, Abdallah Muhammad bin Ali, also known as Muhammad XII or Boabdil, the last Muslim sultan of Granada and head of the Nasrid dynasty, surrendered his city and handed over the keys of Islam to Europe—or so it appears.

In an ironic twist, Christopher Columbus was actually present, laughing his head off as Abdullah signed away his kingdom. However, later on, it would be Columbus who faced misfortune when he was tossed into prison, left to rot like a deranged rat. Meanwhile, Abdullah found himself living in an oasis, indulging in sweet dates and surrounded by beautiful ladies dancing and swimming in a pool.

Oddly enough, life turned out to be predictable for a character like Columbus. Anyone else would have avoided his mistakes by understanding the consequences of failure.

As Abdullah departed for Morocco, little did Europe know that the Muslim world harbored a secret plan to triumph in the Holy War against Europe. Muslims aimed to thrive and live better lives while Europeans flagellated themselves to death. "We'll emerge victorious by embracing all the happiness in the world, while Europeans suffer," proclaimed the Muslims.

In hindsight, Muslims continue to prevail in the war with their oil-rich economy and a culture that allows men in the Middle East to live like Sultans, surrounded by multiple ladies, earning a salary of €11,400 per month.

Elton Felton, a philosopher, argues that Europe remains plagued by antiquated Christian laws, leading to a stagnant lifestyle. Modern peasants are low-wage taxpayers governed by an egocentric parliamentary oligarchy.

Those in power attain their positions by deceiving the public through the electoral process. Once in power, they blame political deadlock for the lack of progress, while hiding the fact that they could solve those problems themselves outside of the political arena.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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