To spite Ron DeSantis, major British publishers have sent out a call to all writers – please write as many children’s books involving transsexuals as possible. In fact, the publishers are even thinking about rewriting old kid’s books with ONLY transsexuals in them.
Huckleberry Finn is now a tomboy girl with pigtails and dirty feet and a smartass mouth, and Tom Sawyer is his girlfriend. Or her girlfriend … or … I dunno what they are.
Alice in Wonderland is now Alex in Wonderland, and he has a catapult that kills the Red Queen, then everybody turns into zombies for some reason and it’s just all blood and guts from there on.
Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop is now Hop on Mum and Her Girlfriend/Boyfriend or whatever. Very confusing, but that’s Seuss for ya.
Harry Potter…yep, JK isn't giving her permission, but mock-ups have been made. Harry is now Harriet and she gets married to a dragon who identifies as an elf.
“The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” is now “The Ladyboy, the Wiccan and the Japanese Quickie Motel Room”. Reserve your room today and get reading!
The Wizard of Oz is now The Wiz… ah shit, Michael Jackson already did that…there will be renewed interest in all things Michael Jackson. (Could you imagine if he were still alive? He’d be cancelled so fast it’d make his moonwalk spin.)
And many many more, too numerous to go into, but rest assured that the authorities of the world are in total control to save you from truth and beauty and all things anti-Biblical. Praise Satan and pass the New Testament (which now has a female Jesus and Judas and they are in love and doing it on almost every page. Very hot! Fuck you, Ron.)
