Reggie Noogie ate a 300 pound pancake in celebration of Lent or Ash Wednesday or whatever holiday the Catholics made up to get more people into their satanic churches and feed them lies and pancakes and take their “donations”, though they don’t have change for a fifty.
Reggie said, “I’m doing this to impress Jesus … and the girl at the Walmart. They both got long brown hair and look real purty and wear robes and got sexy bodies under them robes, so I reckon if’n they see me eat a pancake, they’s gonna come home with me, some day. Maybe after they get off work real late … mmmm , I got room at my house fer lot’s of Catholic girls.”
He then raced away in his battered pick-up truck, playing Frank Zappa’s song, “Catholic Girls”, singing about tiny moustaches and pancakes for Jesus … on a strange note, during the entire interview, this reporter noticed that Reggie’s fly was open and there was a pancake and tons of syrup flowing down his leg.
Was Reggie actually the giant pancake himself? He looked about 300 pounds!
This reporter will stay with this story all night … or at least until the IHOP runs out of pancakes.