Which is worth more?
Freedom of Speech is not an absolute. It can be changed. Incredibly easily!
For example, if you call Prince Andrew a bag of shit (or worse – the truth!), you may easily get arrested. If you dare say that Chucky and His Bride (Part 23? Coming soon?) are not your personal monarchs … yep, that can be a violation of Freedom of Speech!
How? No one knows, but as soon as courts resume with a picture of Charles on the wall instead of his mama, then money-hungry lawyers and politically-biased judges will figure out how to make the law contradict itself and still be called a just law.
The truth shall not make ye free (as that liar, Jesus H. Christ, told the world), it will only get you crucified (as Jesus showed the world once he finally stopped talking. Show, don’t tell – Jesus tapdancing Christ!)
If you yell at someone with a better job and more authority than you – you are the criminal! They are not. They are better than you (this is classism, BTW, an old bigotry, but a good nugget to drag out once in a while when the elite are spoken to as though they are real people – they are not real! Remember that, you unwashed scum!)
So Freedoms come and go, but bags of shit are forever.
So: a bag of shit. What’s it worth?
It stinks. Yes. But so do you. You need to wash and cologne and perfume and deodorize yourselves every day (not every month, Uncle Jesse – git back in that bathtub, dang nabbit, the square dance is tonight!) Have you ever smelled your shoes after a jog? I dare you to inhale the scent of your best friend’s or spouse’s or co-worker’s knickers. Go on, you think you’re so clean? Do it, I double-dog dare ya!
So no more hypocrisy when it comes to a bag of shit. The difference between it and Freedom of Speech (FOS) is that we know the shit is gonna stink – it gives us what it promises, it “tells” the truth, if you will – but the FOS promises to smell like gardenias and instead it stinks like gardeners.
The bag of shit is portable. It goes with you anywhere in the world because everybody shits. Not a single country can ever outlaw bags of shit because the law makers are also shitters! Are they above carrying their own shit? I’m not carrying your shit when I have to carry my own! There can be no law confining the bag of shit. It’s shit. It gets everywhere if let out of the bag! Bring doggy bags – no one wants that on the sidewalk or your lawn or anywhere else – clean it up! (This does not apply to FOS.)
If FOS is let out of the bag, it quickly turns into its opposite. It will get you arrested, even though that’s the antithesis of FOS. (It’s like saying there are tons of millionaires in China … a supposed ‘communist’ country … which should never have a single millionaire ‘cuz everything is shared, not hoarded.)
Moving on …
The bag of shit is good for your gardens. Shit is manure. It feeds food. We eat food. Thus, we eat what shit gives us. All hail King Shit!
We think FOS will feed us, but in reality it makes us starve so much that we always want more. And we notice every time it goes away. That’s how precious it is to us. We also notice the bag of shit go away, and sigh with relief, but when the FOS goes away we ask why why why – and shout how unjust it is – which then gets us arrested for practicing our FOS.
So which of the two is more valuable? (This may be a trick question … think carefully.)
