Hello, God-loving people around the world, this is Suzie X, the Radical Cook, here to show you some happy new ways to use crack in every day foods.
Oh golly, sure, those Republicans like to attack Hunter Biden for all his dirty habits (like they don’t have any, am I right? You too, you filthy beggers – you know what you did – and so does GOD and SATAN and they’re playing chess right now to see who gets your filthy soul) … ahem, anyhoo …
What’s wrong with crack? Crack is cocaine mixed with baking powder for faster, easier smoking, and so you don’t rot out the septum of your nose by snorting. What a great idea – thank you, Ronald Reagan’s CIA in the 1980s! So simple and cheap, anyone can do it. Just go to your favourite drug pusher and ask: “I’ll take two pounds of cocaine, if you please, shop keeper, and wrap it up, but not too tightly, I may wish to snort some while heading home.”
Just mix the crack into anything you like to eat, drink, snort, freebase, inject – or however you need – and I mean NEED – to get it into your system.
So what if Hunter Biden likes crack. Wouldn’t you? Ever tried it? First one’s free! What are you – scared? And what’s on his laptop? Maybe the phone numbers of several drug pushers. That’s just good advertising, if those numbers get out.
So instead of bitching and complaining about something essentially trivial (if it was being done by Mr or Ms Anonymous – but no, it’s the president’s son, so the Reps need – and I mean NEED – to have something to deflect eyes and ears away from their biggest problem, the jailhouse bitch soon to be, known as The Trump.
(Y’think he’s ever smoked crack? His sons? His wife? Or maybe crack is too low-class for him, so he maybe owns shares in Columbia, where the good pure shit comes from. And that’s where Donny is still trying to escape to. With HIS laptop … wonder what’s in there? Secrets for sale?)
Enjoy crack. It wakes you up in the morning to commit crimes against the country, and feel great doing it … until you crash and burn … and burn hard!
