NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Compiled by Stormy Coin, Head Writer and Editor with The Daily Drama News Agency.
Dear Editor: I swear that if people do not stop calling me an evil, low-life, bottom-feeding jerk off, I will roll my electric wheel chair down Highway 35, and I will not stop until I get to Mexico.
Gov. Greg Abbott
Austin, Texas
Dear Gov. Fuckface Abbott: You sir, are nothing but an evil, low-life, bottom-feeding jerk off. Now get to rolling your ugly-swamp-looking face down to Mexico.
Dear Editor: I am thrilled to say that I will be returning back to the NFL and I am even more thrilled to say that the whoremongering racist Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is still nothing more than a has-been, neutered, cheddar-faced pussy grabber.
Colin Kaepernick
San Francisco
Dear Colin: Welcome back dude. And I'm so glad to see you kicking some GOP ass, just like President Biden kicked the Trumptard's ass.
Dear Miss Coin: I just want you to know that the rumor about me being pregnant with Mitch McConnell's baby is nothing more that a shitty lie that was probably started by either Ivanka Trump, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Ann Coulter, or Black Kitty Meow Meow.
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Washington, D.C.
Dear MTG: You are going to be shocked but the rumor was actually started by Mitch McConnell.
Dear Coiny: I saw your face on Facebook and I have to say that you are very pretty, very sexy, and your tits look like they're a 38-DD. Here is my private cell phone number [NUMBER DELETED BY EDITOR]. Call me anytime you want hot lips.
Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump
Mar-A-Lago, Florida
Hey Trumptard: I wouldn't call you if you were the last motherfucking, SOB on the planet. And I agree with Melania when she said that your days before you go to Sing Sing Prison are numbered. Oh and by the way "Douche Bag," My tits are a 36-DD.
