THE FOLLOWING TEXTS WERE COMPILED BY THE SENIOR WRITER FOR TITTLE TATTLE TONIGHT, PICO DE GALLO
Dear Tittle Tattle Tonight – I just want you to know that I am not as ugly as everybody says I am.
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Washington, D.C.
Dear Horse Face – The fuck you’re not! You actually make a used tampon look damn pretty.
Pico de Gallo
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Ponchatoula, Louisiana
Dear TTT – Can you please tell all your viewers that I am not getting back together with Danica Patrick.
Aaron Rodgers
Green Bay Packers Quarterback
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Dear Aaron – Dude she may be little, but our staff has heard from several reliable sources, that she has one fantastically versatile pussy. What’s your problem?
Pico de Gallo
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Ponchatoula, Louisiana
Dear Teetle Tuttle Today – I duzzn’t knows why peeples teenk dat I hab an assent becuzz, I fer one duzzn’t heers eat. Tank ju tu mush.
Melania Trump
Mar-a-Lago, Florida
Dear Melania – Don't ju, I mean don't you, worry your gorgeous little ass sweetie. Because as hot and as sexy as you are – who really gives a fuck about your assent, I mean accent?
Pico de Gallo
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Ponchatoula, Louisiana
Dear 3T – I just want to squash the rumor that I had unprotected sex with the racist sexual predator (Donald Trump), in the White House. I have been in the White House, but I was only in the kitchen, and not in Donald and Melania’s room.
Caitlyn Jenner
Malibu Beach, California
Dear Caitlyn – We got our info from America’s foremost information guru Andy Cohen. And his accuracy percentage rate is 99.919%
Pico de Gallo
Tittle Tattle Tonight
Ponchatoula, Louisiana
Hasta Later...
