ITV facing prosecution over dead rat in studio kitchen

Funny story written by Thinctanc

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

image for ITV facing prosecution over dead rat in studio kitchen
An ITV producer happily eats the allegedly harmless rat poison for the cameras.

Gino D'Acampo found himself at the centre of a new scandal yesterday after a rat died on the set of 'Never cooks, Trevor cooks,' the show where two contestants, one who never cooks and the other named Trevor, battle it out in the kitchen to win a year's supply of signed oven gloves.

The animal, a black sewer rat, allegedly died after consuming rat poison behind the scenes of the show. Though the animal was never viewed onscreen, show producers are facing calls to resign over the issue.

Ever since the RSPCA successfully prosecuted Gordon Ramsay last year for steamrolling over live quails, TV cooking shows have been forced to change to a strictly vegetarian format.

"The ruling is quite simple and straightforward," explained an RSPCA spokesman, "a TV kitchen is not a domestic environment or a commercial food preparation area and so the use of any dead meat or the killing of an animal is purely in the name of entertainment and this is illegal."

Where as regular kitchens must ensure they exterminate any vermin for health and safety purposes, the court ruling means that TV kitchens have to tolerate any rats and cockroaches that choose to make a cameo appearance on set.

ITV issued a statement to refute the claims that the rat died as a result of eating rat poison by saying, "Ever since the recent change in legislation, we have ensured that the rat poison we use will not harm any rats. In fact, all the rat poison is freshly prepared on a daily basis by Gino D'Acampo himself and forms one portion of the government's recommended 5-a-day for rodents. The aim is that, having had a hearty meal, the rat feels it is time to move on. We are obviously devastated that a filthy disease-riddled piece of vermin has sadly died on our otherwise spotless set and we will, of course, be launching a full investigation into how this has happened."

An insider we spoke to revealed that one of the angles ITV are pursuing is to establish whether the rat had a severe nut allergy, which, if proven, would confirm that this was simply a tragic accident.

Whichever way the inquest goes, this will certainly be a troubling time for the Italian chef. D'Acampo narrowly missed spending time in an Australian prison after he walked free from a Melbourne court earlier this year. During the filming of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here' D'Acampo and two other jungle celebrities were shown cooking and eating fellow contestant, actor George Hamilton. D'Acampo was famously heard to exclaim that the Hollywood legend tasted "Fantastico!"

The Melbourne judge in his ruling declared that the case was 'more bizarre than a Sheila with a twanger' but accepted the defence's central argument that Hamilton's career was over and had been on the slide ever since 'The Godfather III.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more