Adam Sandler Found Lost at Sea, Teen Declared "Savior"

Funny story written by Dorry McGuire

Wednesday, 27 October 2004

image for Adam Sandler Found Lost at Sea, Teen Declared "Savior"
This is how Adam looked both just minutes before he was found, and a few times during our interview with him and his teen friend.

Well, will these celebrities ever be careful traveling like this?? Writers and interviewers here at The Spoof have heard that comedian actor Adam Sandler, usually always laughing and cracking hilarious jokes, surprisingly was found sobbing in a huge ship last week by Sheryl Crow's 17-year-old adopted sister, apparently lost and horribly terrified. The young girl was apparently fishing on a beach with her family when she heard "a strange noise" which turned out to be 38-year-old Sandler, screaming hysterically for help.

Not seeing the girl, interviewers found out later that she had called his name, and soon discovered that he had gotten lost on a journey back to his homeland of New York, but took a wrong turn and ended up in the middle of the ocean. After letting the actor off the boat to spill his feelings and calm down a bit, the teen, who chose to remain anonymous, asked him if he cared to tell her what exactly was upsetting him, and he had told her the story of his wacky traveling mistake. Later, Adam and his supporter/rescuer were interviewed by The Spoof interviewers Sonny Koufax and Henry Roth, pausing to excuse multiple aftershock breakdowns from Sandler. A few of the other interviewers seemed to snoop in and watch Koufax and Roth interview the two. One of them, Colleen Shatwhile, thought it to be so nice that when Adam couldn't talk anymore, his rescuer was nice enough to offer long, supportive hugs. It finally got to a point where Adam and his supporter had to go out of the room for him to calm down. Adam told us, "I couldn't believe it, one minute I knew where I was going, the next I was out in the middle of the ocean. I can't really remember what happened after I went into my crying fit, but I must've wasted about 4 hours because it was almost dark out when I was found. The next thing I remember I was on shore and I had myself clung to this teen trying to settle me down. It was quite a shock."

The teen said, "It was pretty amazing. I mean, I was even surprised, I thought, 'wow, this guy must be really going through an emotional swing, being the funniest comedian I know,' so I comforted him and that's when we started talking." Writers here at The Spoof were also very shocked. Joy Gilmore said: "My goodness, you'd think that these celebrities would be more careful!! I, being a huge fan of Adam Sandler, feel very relieved that he was found, but I just can't believe this child found him because of his screaming and crying!" Dorry McGuire said: "This young lady is truly [Adam's] savior!! If it wasn't for her, he would still be out there."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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