Dr. Drew May Quit Celebrity Rehab

Funny story written by linda warnke

Thursday, 1 January 2009

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Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of the popular VH1 reality show Celebrity Rehab, said he is thinking of quitting the television show. In an interview with People magazine Pinsky said that although the premise of the show was noble, the reality has made him reconsider whether going on with it was a good idea.

"After spending several months filming with these people, I'm starting to wonder if I'm really doing anybody a favor." he said. "These people have issues that go way beyond mere drugs and alcohol. In fact, trying to sober them up may actually make their problems worse. Look at Gary Busey, for example. Now that he's been clean for awhile you can see just how disturbed he really is. Everyone around him was better off when he was high, you knew exactly what he was going to do, there were no surprises. He'd get loud for a little while, then fall down and pass out in a pool of his own vomit. You can plan a day around that because you know what to expect. But now, nobody has any clue what he'll do next. Everyone on the set walks on eggshells when he's around. For him, drugs and alcohol are like medications- he needs tequila and coke like a diabetic needs insulin."

"And just look at Jeff Conway! He used to be a pretty decent actor, but now? He's a total mess. One day he was crying because someone had replaced his OxyContin tablets with vitamins. I'm thinking, you know what? I'm an MD, I'll write you a script right now for as many as you want, provided you promise to take at least half of them before the cameras start rolling again."

"And why is Rodney King on the show? Since when is he considered a celebrity? He got high and got his ass kicked by the police- now he has an agent and a contract? Give me a break!"

Pinsky went on to say "I really wanted to help these people, but I can't justify my involvement with the whole "Celebrity Rehab" thing anymore. It's just become a pathetic freak show."

A VH1 spokesman responded by saying "We hope that Dr. Drew will decide to stay on for another season. This is the first real work some of these celebrities have had in years."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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