Celebrity News: Mariah Longcock, Sandra Bullcack, and Betty Dillweed are invited to dine with Jesus at his Hollywood mansion.
Jesus purchased the mansion with money he stole from the Catholic Church.
Saint Peter, is the Butler at the mansion and he greets the women at the door.
Sandra Bullcack is not impressed with the dinner. The table is forty feet long with a whole roasted cow on it. There's every imaginable dish at the table. The utensils are made of gold and there's a free bar with every imaginable cocktail.
Sandra Bullcack then screams at Jesus, "You fucken cannibal! How could you kill so many animals and serve them up at this dinner!"
Jesus is unimpressed by Bullcack's foul language. "You know very well, I'm not a vegan like you Sandra; the world is very aware I served bread and fish to hungry worshippers."
After dinner Jesus then says, “you can do as you please in here, just don’t step on any baby ducks.”
The women are puzzled, but proceed to look around trying to find something to steal.
Looking around, they notice there are thousands of baby ducks everywhere.
"What does Jesus do with all these baby ducks, says Betty Dillweed.
In a matter of minutes, Dillweed steps on a duck. Saint Peter walks up to her with a very ugly man. Saint Peter then shackles that man and Dillweed together and says, “for stepping on the duck, you have to spend eternity chained to this ugly man.”
"Help me someone, I'm being abducted by Jesus Christ," says Betty Dillweed.
The other two women are shocked but go about their business filling bags with stolen items until, sure enough, Mariah Longcock steps on a duck. Immediately, Saint Peter came and shackles her with another ugly man.
"Bullcack! give me a knife, so I can kill Jesus Christ," screams Mariah Longcock.
The last woman Sandra Bullcack tries desperately to not step on any duck. She tries to leave with her stolen merchandise but discovers the doors are locked with dozens of deadbolts and locks.
"Holly Shit Dillweed, you're right, Jesus abducted us," says Sandra Bullcack.
After a few months of not stepping on any ducks and trying to find a way to escape the mansion, Saint Peter walks up to Sandra Bullcack accompanied by a stunningly handsome man who's also a noble prince.
Saint Peter then shackles her to this man and after a while, Bullcack being thrilled to be chained to such a handsome man, says, “I don’t know what I did to deserve to be shackled with such a handsome prince like you.” The prince replies, “I don’t know what you did lady, but I stepped on a duck.”
