DALLAS - (Satire News) - The nation's foremost polling agency, QuinniPinni, has just announced that after conducting over 27,000 polls in every one of the 50 states, the runaway winner in the "Which US City Has The Prettiest Prostitutes in The Sex Business," is Dallas, Texas.
The poll clearly showed that Dallas beat out the third place city Las Vegas and the second place city Los Angeles by a huge percentage.
Dallas prostitutes, the poll executives said tend to be much more educated (at least 2 years of college), they can name all the vowels, they know every sexual position known to man, they know the difference between Australia and Austria, and they have the finest, sweetest, sexiest looking asses in existence. They also know the difference between their and there, and they can explain the complex nuances of the Oxford comma.
One of the "Ladies of The Evening" explained it by saying that Dallas "customers" tend to be damn good looking, fucking well-endowed, and simply put downright rich as hell. She also said that they are quite generous with their tips, often offering her candy, flowers, and even the occasional bag of Skittles.
She noted that over 91% of her "Johns" say to her that their wives are just too busy playing bunco, going to social luncheons and dinners, and having botox treatments, and as a result the husband's sexual needs, wants, and desires are not being fulfilled (by the wife).
SIDENOTE: The poll showed that of all the Dallas "Working Gals," 78% are blondes, 17% are brunettes, and 5% are redheads - and 100% are great at doing the Macarena.
