Musical Protest and Rebellion Can’t Buy Me Love

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 7 August 2022

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Don't Worry ... Be Happy

Nena’s “99 Luftballons,” Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Two Tribes,” Time Zone’s “World Destruction,” Men at Work’s “It’s a Mistake,” Prince’s “1999,” Culture Club’s “The War Song”.

All hot songs from the 1980s that spoke out against nuclear war. It was a hot topic in the 80s, thanks to Ronald Reagan flexing his muscle, until the Soviet Union dissolved, and Ronny didn’t have a mirror to flex into anymore.

Where are all the protest songs of today? Are there not enough assholes running nations into the ground? Does there need to be more fascism until at least one pop star or any musician plays a song that protests Trump, Putin, Xi, whatever dipshit they like?

Just write a song that isn’t about your booty or how much of a badass gangbanger you are or how much bling you own. You are rich, we get it, we the fans made you rich while we stay poor, got it, got it, got it.

Now can you please sing ONE SONG that speaks about the shit going on in this world? Will you still get radio play? Will you still sell enough overpriced t-shirts at your concerts? Will you still be able to sell your terrible perfume, running shoes, vagina-scented candles? Is that what you’re worried about: pissing off investors?

Money trumps protest. (Yes, I know how that sounds, and it’s a happy accident.) They are a million musicians trying to make a living, and those who have a living are making bland inoffensive music to sing and dance to – and there’s nothing wrong with that, but my God!

The world could be blowing up, and they’d still be singing about their bank accounts and how broken their hearts are when they’re counting their money.

The last rebellious band I recall was Rage Against the Machine. I wonder who owns them now?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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