AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - Elon Musk has just stated that the BMI space subsidiary company Blue Space Com, can easily and at a moments notice, shoot down anything that is up in the solar system; including spacecraft, orbital machinery, metal debris detectors, and space capsule refuse.
Jeff Bezos, Musk's partner in absolute wealth, noted that they have just issued a warning to the dictator of the evil Russian empire that if he does not leave the Ukraine, and pretty damn fucking soon, then BMI will send a coded message to the computers on board their Blue Space Com Space Station and destroy every single Russian space object that is up in space.
Information guru, Andy Cohen has commented that as of press time, Russia has a total of 2,907 space items floating around the galaxy.
Putin angrily said that if they shoot down even one of his tiny little mini-space items, he will fire an ICBM (missile) at Central Park in Manhattan.
Meanwhile, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump told Tucker "Creep Face" Carlson that he has never met Putin and that he would not know him from Russian ballet dancer Mikail Baryshnikov.
