Ashley Olsen says she's done being a twin and vows to take out Mary-Kate

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Wednesday, 14 July 2021

image for Ashley Olsen says she's done being a twin and vows to take out Mary-Kate
(Left) Ashley with her machete, looking for her twin sister (right) happier times with her bf

We've been reading about and watching Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen since they were mere babes. We've come to think of them as a set, even as they've grown up and established themselves as adult fashion designers.

But now Ashleyhas other ideas. "I'm tired of sharing the spotlight!" she snapped during an interview last weekend. "We're getting less and less press these days and the little we do get is always diminished by us being twins. Besides, Mary-Kate's an attention hog and a drama queen! I don't want to be a twin any longer and I'm going to do something about it."

Yesterday Ashley was seen emerging from her home with a large machete, and proceeded to walk very deliberately down the street. Asked where she was headed, she replied "I'm going to Mary-Kate's office and when I find her, she's a goner."

She was last seen walking along Ocean Blvd. still brandishing the black machete.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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