Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
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Tweety Dead of Bird Flu
Warner Brothers' cartoon character Tweety Bird has been the latest death from the mysterious bird flu. Tweety was one of the first Americans and the biggest name star to contact and die due to the illness.
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Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave
Siesmologists at the New Mexico State University Geology Department have determined that the late Sheriff Pat Garrett has turned over in his grave. The sheriff, most famous for shooting Billy the Kid, was killed himself outside of Las Cruces, New Me...
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Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed
Paris -- There has always been a lot of controversy around the death of rock and roll legend Jim Morrison. The lead singer of the Doors died in a Paris Flat in July of 1971. The story of mystery signatures on his death certificate and his manager b...
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Bin Laden Death Pictures Released As Conspiracy Theories Mount
The US Government are under increasing pressure to publish the rumoured photographs of recently killed Al-Qaeda kingpin Osama Bin Laden, as suspicions grow over the true nature of his death. Molly Bridgend, 57, a local landlady, told us "we want e...
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Michael Jackson "King of Pop" dies on the toilet like Elvis
It has been reported by unconfirmed sources that the undisputed 'King of Pop' Michael Jackson died while engaged in unblocking his rectum on a gold-plated toilet. The star had just completed a rigorous training session involving weightlifting smal...
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No inquest into Di's death as Riggs Bank sponsors Charles's new folly
NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation
World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28
World's Oldest Looking Man Dies Aged 77
Fat Bastards told to diet or die
Lot's of people are walking around with a low IQ
Shocking Culmination of the Dialectic: Socialism Conquers Death!
McDonald's Stock Collapses on News of Brando Death
Smart and Bush Rip Off the Dead
Alex 99 vs Alex Duggan-60 Murders Plus (M.O.R.P.H. Remix)
Sergio Vega, Who Tweeted "I was not killed", is (wait for it) Killed.
Britain Groans, As Boris Johnson Doesn't Die
Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder
MiAMI, FLORIDA--(RUMRZ) "Anna Nicole Smith was Murdered!", Admits Dr. Tim Bucktooth, Miami Dade County Coroner, at a news conference this morning. Shock and a new heightened interest was the reaction to the verdict being ha...
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California Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
UPDATE: CALFISH is now evacuating the Salmon from below the Damn. According to spokes-fish Hal A. Bight, the fish, and their human worshippers, are stealthily exiting for high ground. “We like water, but a 100-foot wall of it moving at seventy-...
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Motorhead's Lemmy 'Killed By Death'
Sad news coming out of L.A. this morning. Motorhead legend Ian Fraser Kilmister, best known to millions around the world as 'Lemmy' was sadly reported to be 'Killed by Death' in the early hours. The veteran rock n roller known for hits such as 'Ac...
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Acupuncture Proven to Relieve the Suffering of the Dead
A study at the University of Springfield at Piermont (USAP) has conclusively shown that acupuncture can help the dead every bit as much as it does the living.
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Texas Death Row Inmate Uses Intelligent Design to Escape
HOUSTON - Charlie Thompson, a death row inmate who walked out of the Harris County Jail and is now the subject of a nationwide manhunt claims he used "Intelligent Design" to plan and execute his escape. Placing a call to talk radio show ho...
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Idiot Decapitated by French Revolution Guillotine Ride at Georgia Six Flags
A teenager has been decapitated by the Robespierre Reign of Terror roller coaster Saturday at Six Flags Over Georgia, authorities said. The young man exceeded the maximum height requirement for the ride, but apparently slipped in unnoticed by ticket...
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Catholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide
A Catholic priest who shot his big, fat, stupid mouth off at a boy's funeral, about how suicide will anger God and prevent a dead person's soul from entering heaven, has said he was only joking. Father Don LaQuesta (not real name, but nearly) was...
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Man 'Just Knew' Des O'Connor Was Going To Die, One Day
There was sad news from the entertainment world last weekend, when it was announced that Des O'Connor, the veteran TV show host and entertainer for more than 45 years, had died aged 88, on Saturday. The news came as a complete shock to many people…
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O'Reilly's fish and chip shop in Bridlington claim Osama Bin Laden alive and well
The proprietor of O'Reilly's, Bridlington's premier fish and chip takeaway, who strangely enough is called Mr O'Reilly, claims that famous Saudi prince of darkness and bomb-making equipment, Osama Bin Laden, is not in fact dead, but has been spirited...
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Vatican Report: The Inquisition wasn't that bad...George W. Bush Agrees
Vatican Officials have released a report saying that although the Inquisition burned people at the stake, stretched them to death on the rack, maimed and abused tens of thousands and possibly millions just because they weren't Roman Catholic, it real...
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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
There were a few raised eyebrows but no shrieking at an Essex public house at the weekend, when the ghost of former landlord, Keith Flint, paid an unexpected visit to the pub, and, as he was used to doing, started the fire in the bar. Flint, 49, d...
Read full storyFunny Death Headlines
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Vatican Report: The Inquisition wasn't that bad...George W. Bush Agrees
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Tweety Dead of Bird Flu
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Texas Death Row Inmate Uses Intelligent Design to Escape
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Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder
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"There's Somebody At The Door!" Rod Hull Speaks From The Grave
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Acupuncture Proven to Relieve the Suffering of the Dead
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O'Reilly's fish and chip shop in Bridlington claim Osama Bin Laden alive and well
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Bin Laden Death Pictures Released As Conspiracy Theories Mount
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Catholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide
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California Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
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Diego Maradona Killed in Car Crash, Radio Station Implicated.
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Jim Morrison's Body Exhumed
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Idiot Decapitated by French Revolution Guillotine Ride at Georgia Six Flags
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Michael Jackson "King of Pop" dies on the toilet like Elvis
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Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave
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Motorhead's Lemmy 'Killed By Death'
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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
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Mass Shooting Saga
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Man 'Just Knew' Des O'Connor Was Going To Die, One Day
