Daily Mirror Apologizes For Crime
Disney Land News: The publisher of UK tabloid the Daily Mirror has apologized to Prince Harry for using unlawful methods to gather information about his private life. An out of court settlement is expected with a clause that no criminal charges wo…
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Trucks used as part of Cartel drug trafficking operation
F.B.I. News: Alleged drug traffickers are using taco trucks, ice cream trucks, air conditioning repair trucks, plumbing trucks, and pizza delivery vehicles to distribute pounds of meth, cocaine and heroin, state prosecutors said Wednesday. They us…
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The Mexican cartels declare war on their rivals
Police News: Like a scene from Oceans 11, the Gulf Cartel rob an Apple store owned by their rivals the Zeta cartel. The Gulf gang, in a Seattle suburb, reportedly managed a brazen heist last Sunday, tunneling through the bathroom wall of a coffee…
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Retarded father wants to marry off his ugly daughter
A retarded father from New Mexico was arrested by police after walking through downtown Albuquerque with a loaded shotgun which he pointed at men who were in the immediate area. The man's name is Ricardo Alfonzo Sanchez and he told police he was t...
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Killer kangaroos terrorise Australia
Police in all Australian states and territories are reporting gangs of kangaroos rampaging through major cities, robbing stores and killing people indiscriminately. From Sydney, where wild animals of any sort are rarely seen due to the lack of oxy...
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Nottingham News for W/E 31 Dec 2011 - with comments
25 Dec 2011: Drunk driver left 'housebound' by ban for being over the limit Category: Crime 'This is Nottingham' A disabled pensioner claimed he would be left "housebound" once banned from driving after being found drunk at the wheel. Neil Craig, 69, of Raglan Court, Beeston, is the third driver to be named and shamed in the Post's Christmas anti-drink driving campaign, 'None for the Road'.
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Police Blotter Reports from Pahookee, Florida
Baseball Billy Bratton tells Britain to get Batting!
Gang Crime: "Stop the Ermine 5"
Selected Political News for W/E: 15th April 2012
Roomba Robot Released that Can Clear Up Street Crime
Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House
Eight year-old goes on shooting rampage in Supermarket
Police Chief Warns of Increase in Cyber Crime
Banks Are Stealing All Your Money
Mark Twain Returns To Earth, Says Whites "Drug Addicted Rapists"
Manchester Horror! Dismembered Gazebos Found Scattered Across City! Fiend Suspected!
Crime Fiction Lover Receives 8 Richard Osman Books for Christmas
Man Is Going To Rob A Bank
An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…
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Gonzalez: Jesus bumper stickers are 'insurrection'
The freedom of speech case Morse vs. Frederick involving high school student rights has come to the attention of U.S. Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales.
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Free 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' bumper stickers annoy drivers
In a wave of vandalism stretching across dozens of states, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" stickers have begun to appear on cars and other private property.
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Paris Hilton Naked, Baseball, Crime, Iraq, and Free Range Chickens
BALTIMORE, WASHINGTON, LOS ANGELES, BOSTON -- (MAY 3, 2007) Baseball met bedlam in Baltimore yesterday as the Oriels beat the Red Sox 2-0 while a mob torched eight square blocks of row houses near Fells Point, about two miles from Camden yards stadiu...
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Nottingham News for W/E 10 Dec 2011 - with comments
3 Dec 0211: Ambulance paramedic 'Inhaled laughing gas' while at the wheel The Nottingham Evening Post He was based in Derbyshire, has now been suspended from the Health Professions Council register for misusing Entonox while on duty. ​Entonox is a mixture of nitrous oxide - or laughing gas - and oxygen, and is also known as "gas and air". "You've got to laugh!" 3 Dec 0211: Police need...
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Isle of Wight Citizens given Diplomatic Immunity
Following a debate that ran into the early hours of this morning, the Isle of Wight Council has narrowly voted in favour of granting all residents of the Island diplomatic immunity. The surprise move comes after a recent report by the Association of...
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Counterfeit Money Gang Go Into Receivership
A gang of criminals who invested more than a million dollars in machinery and expertise they needed to get their potentially lucrative money-printing business off the ground have declared their company insolvent after a cataclysmic mistake during the…
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An urban fable: It's all in the name
Damien Dread had a weird name but he was kind of proud of it. You could say he "grew" into the name over the years. As a little kid in elementary school, Damien Dread was teased unceasingly about his surname. Some wiseguy by the name of Tommy Truesgood looked up the word "dread" on an online dictionary from his cell phone and discovered that "dread" meant to "anticipate with great apprehension or...
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The Spoof! Now A Crime In Progress
Police from the London Met shut down The Spoof! and declared it a crime scene or to be a more exact the scene of a crime in progress. The police received the following tip off from spoofter Alex99 who wrote an email to them in which he described h...
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De'Marquise Elkins and Charles Manson
BACKDOOR, Hell. (AP) - De'Marquise Elkins was captured trying to smuggle a cell phone inside a California prison where Charles Manson is housed, authorities said Wednesday. De'Marquise Elkins, 63, was arrested Sunday for investigation of conspira...
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Raoul Moat - Don't Be Silly Son, Give Me The Gun.
Skoob News - never an agency to shirk its social responsibilities in times of crisis, has appealed to misguided gunman Raoul Moat to lay down his gun and give himself up before anybody else gets hurt. There's nothing to be gained by further bloodshed. It makes no sense. Yes, you feel slighted, you feel let down, you feel that people were taking the piss, and that's a normal reaction. In case...
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World's Oldest Man's Death Sparks Police Inquiry
Police in South Africa have said their investigation into the death of the world's oldest man has already started, and that they will leave no stone unturned in their battle to find out just what happened. Fredie Blom, who was 116 when he died, wa…
Read full storyFunny Crime Headlines
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Paris Hilton Naked, Baseball, Crime, Iraq, and Free Range Chickens
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Gonzalez: Jesus bumper stickers are 'insurrection'
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Jersey Horror Dig Strikes Oil
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Suits Of Armour Go On Sale In Harrods
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Retarded father wants to marry off his ugly daughter
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The Spoof! Now A Crime In Progress
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Nottingham News for W/E 10 Dec 2011 - with comments
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De'Marquise Elkins and Charles Manson
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World's Oldest Man's Death Sparks Police Inquiry
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The Mexican cartels declare war on their rivals
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Free 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' bumper stickers annoy drivers
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Raoul Moat - Don't Be Silly Son, Give Me The Gun.
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Isle of Wight Citizens given Diplomatic Immunity
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Nottingham News for W/E 31 Dec 2011 - with comments
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An urban fable: It's all in the name
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Killer kangaroos terrorise Australia
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Man Is Going To Rob A Bank
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Counterfeit Money Gang Go Into Receivership
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Trucks used as part of Cartel drug trafficking operation
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Daily Mirror Apologizes For Crime
