CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - Mickey D's has always reached out to everyone, and as they say in their TV commercials, our hamburger buns do not differentiate between gays, straights, egnostics, Democrats, Republicans, atheists, or alcoholics.
So in keeping with that all-inclusive tradition, the folks at the Golden Arches have just announced that to embrace their open and free sisters and brothers, they will now be using rainbow colored sesame seeds on all of their hamburger buns.
One 93-year-old bigoted, wrinkle, blue-haired bitch wrote a letter saying that she will never, ever again eat at McDonalds.
She received a reply telling her to take her Metamucil, her Geritol, her Ex Lax, her Vicodin, and her Docusate and use them to go on a wild, psychedelic trip down the rainbow highway!
In a Related Story - The American Health Association (AHA) reports that old bitches with blue hair are more prone to be disco dancers than elderly females with non-blue hair.
