Do you have your money in a bank? Fool! Don’t you realize that all banks are trying to crash themselves so that crypto can become king? That way, no nation can tax the rich EVER since how can you tax crypto if it’s located in some Singaporean’s pants as he lounges on his yacht with illiterate super models in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
What? Confusing, I know, and that’s the point: the tax man will never find the new pirates of commerce.
But now, with The Super Incredible Stainless Steel Mattress, you too can lock up your hard earned moola and keep it where banks can’t get it.
That’s right, folks, banks are not your friends. They want your money – who do you think you are, trying to keep both fists clasped onto all that cash? The banks are bigger than you and your mattress.
Except for The Super … (Etc) … Mattress! With it, no one, not the tax man, the banker, the bank teller with her beady eyes and pen attached to that chain – I want that pen simply because it’s locked up!
Well now you’ll have to lock up your money where the bank can’t get to it. If you see a banker outside your window, sweating, collar button done up to his tight flabby sweating neck … call the dogs and stash the cash inside the Super (Etc) Mattress … and enjoy your retirement the same way your parents and grandparents did … where have all the flowers and banks and retirement savings plans gone?
Into the pockets of some other asshole on his yacht on the other side of the planet.
