MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - Eric "Goofy" Trump recently told Fox News host Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity that his daddy has become so stressed out at the thought that his old ass is going to end up in prison, that his addiction to Big Mac burgers has gone from 9 a day up to 10 a day.
Eric told Sean that his father's weight has ballooned up to 367 pounds, which makes him one of the fattest tubs of lard in the Plywood State (Florida).
Trump's future daughter-in-law, who is Don "Dopey" Trump Jr., fiancee (Kimberly Guilfoyle) says that the old former golfer-in-chief, now has three chins, a fat-as-shit tongue, and a belly that makes him look like he's 14 months pregnant. ■
