Britain (and, oh god, possibly the rest of the ‘commonwealth’ … it ain’t common and nobody’s got the wealth but Britain) is getting new money!
This one has an old guy on it, apparently looking for his crown and ‘facing left’. Obviously some kind of secret Illuminati messaging going on here (Prince Andrew knows what I’m talking about, wink, wink).
But those were just the coins and we know those who have power don’t carry metal, just paper (or, soon, just crypto). The coins are for the poor, so many of them are “left” since they have no money and hope the rich man will let those coins fall from his pocket in a “trickle-down” fashion, and then we’s all gonna git rich, yeeee-ha!
The paper notes are different. Charles looks towards, but not quite at, the ‘camera’. What’s he looking for? His regality? (Izzat a word?) Or is he looking down slightly? As though looking down at you, the filthy masses using HIS note to buy your filthy things, asking, “Do you dare question my kingliness?”
How soon until someone from the “commonwealth” thinks it’s a joke and says they’d rather use Monopoly money? (You realize, if Trump wins, he’ll put his face on US money. Why can’t these old farts fuck off?) How soon until someone draws a moustache on the money king, or changes his face into something from Star Trek or a creature from Rick and Morty?
This new money is a new canvas for the graffiti artists of the world. Will it actually buy anything? Will Britain exist in five years or will they still be having a partygate and deciding if Brexit is good or bad? Will Charles be alive in that time, or will the mint have to change its moulds to William smiling with his nostrils flaring and those slightly yellowed hamster teeth smiling to all the darker minions of the Empire … who still think cocoanuts are some form of stable currency!
Just cuz they grow on trees doesn’t make them money! Only paper with constipated old men on them is money, bloody savages!
