BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – The FBI has reported that they have just captured the infamous Taliban director of covert external operations.
FBI Agent Thurman W. Glassmaker, informed the news media that Abu Bak Fu Mufumi, 31, has been sailing under their radar, but thanks to a tip from rap singer Lil Yo Sista Gurl, the notorious terrorist is now in custody.
Glassmaker said that a search of Mufumi’s trailer yielded lots of interesting terrorist information.
FBI experts are going through his 4 computers with a fine tooth comb, and so far they have found dozens of somewhat nasty photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, and Scott Baio.
They don’t want to say too much, but so far they have found the blueprints to Yankee Stadium, photos of Kim Kardashians three mansions, and the passwords to Donald Trump’s McDonald’s account.
Mufumi reportedly said that he does not know Trump, has never met him, and that he would not know him from Ronald McDonald.
Meanwhile, his Jack-in-the-Box manager Howie Glittfinger, stated that he hated to see Mufumi get taken into custody, because he was actually the best employee that he has ever had.
SIDENOTE: BuzzFuzz is reporting that FBI agents found the private cell phone number of North Korean President Kim Jong-un in Mufumi’s wallet.
