REDONDO BEACH, California – (Satire News) – Word filtering out of the Left Coast is that Shaq’s Pizza Shack has been ordered to close by the California State Inspectatorial Agency.
CSIA inspector Rusty Tzatsiki, no relation to famed gynecologist Zola Tzatsiki, informed the news media that upon an inspection of the kitchen, he personally found that there was a family of woodchucks that were nesting next to the anchovy containers.
When told of the violation, owner NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal said that he had no idea that his restaurant’s kitchen was home to a bunch of damn woodchucks.
He assured everyone that when he returns from his vacation to Afghanistan, he will personally deal with the matter by addressing the issue violation with the help of his AR-15 semi-automatic rifle.
Meanwhile, O’Neal has assured his dedicated customers that he will continue to make his world-famous pizza in his Beverly Hills mansion and sell it from a pizza food truck located in the parking lot of his restaurant.
