A woman has decided to give up work for the whole of May and sit on her arse drinking Lambritzi and pink gin, we can reveal. Kylie Slackbucket, 31, of Spodbury, decided to take action because, 'Well, it's all just one long Bank Holiday when you th…
The nation may have been gripped by Dutch iceman Wim Hof plunging himself into sub-zero water in just a pair of shorts for new programme Freeze the Fear, but viewers in Newcastle were unimpressed. "You want to gan on a neet oot on the toon, man Wi…
The world of education was dealt a crushing blow today as supply teacher Euphemia Tudor-Stewart collapsed after prolonged exposure to Stynx Africa during her first day at an all-boys school. "Normal people just aren't used to it," said PE master H…
A special St Patrick's Day edition of popular word quiz Countdown has been pulled off air after Channel RTE was inundated with calls from confused viewers asking what were these things called vowels that kept getting offered to contestants. "It wa…
The world has taken a step closer to achieving peace today, after the revelation that Kylie Slackbucket of Spodbury added an 'I Stand With Ukraine' frame to her Fakebook profile after five gallons of Lambritzi last night. "I think it's really imp…
A man was asked to leave Spodbury Leisure Centre today after reducing the water level by six inches in five minutes with his ridiculous beard and four-inch long back hair. As he left the poolside, builder ZeeZee Topp, 27, said, "This is discrimina…
The name Fonda has long been synonymous with body confidence, so it should be no surprise to anyone that Bridget Fonda has released her own routine, which has been a hit with women fed up of being judged for the crime of aging and not wearing full ma…
There was delight in the Sponge household this Valentines Day when Sharon, 46, forgot what a useless turd she'd married the moment he presented her with a box of Ferrero Rocher and a scrap of red polyester in a heart-shaped box. "It's wonderful,"…
After the passing of rock legend Meat Loaf, a lost interview has finally given fans the answer to the question: Just what was it that he wouldn't do for love? "I'll never record a song with fewer than an average of twelve words in the title, or t…
As people across the country are starting their new year diets, one woman has found a hilarious and original way to eat chocolate and stick to her diet by posting on Fakebook 'Look everyone, having my five a day, LOL' accompanied by a photo of a half…
As millions of Brits are feeling flabby after the Christmas break, one man has taken the revolutionary step of announcing his new fitness regime. Kevin Sponge, 46, said, 'Yes, I know I've said this every year since 2004, but this time it's going t…
Christmas 2021 is officially cancelled this year, as it has been confirmed that raven-haired Welsh rocker Shakin Stevens found a grey hair while brushing his teeth this morning. Shaky, real name Michael Parratt, 97, has been entertaining people w…
In the wake of the prime minister’s call for ex-teachers to return as volunteers to help keep schools open during Covid, the thousands of educators who left the job in the last decade have graded his work as F : for Failure, Fuck Off and Funny How W…
In an effort to find that different thing to make their social media pics better than that trollop Tracey, who drops Zayn off wearing her pyjamas and parks her 4x4 on the zig zig lines, parents have been paying £24.99 for a breakfast with Scrooge.
A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…
A woman has shocked the business community – and her fellow mumpreneurs – by starting a business and managing not to name it after her two children, our sources can reveal. Andrea Mumford, 34, founder of bespoke baby clothes and comforter brand B…
Sales of the new Sage & Onion Latte have been booming at coffee shops across the UK, as people will buy a dog turd on a stick if they’ve been told it’s a ‘Festive Limited Edition.’ “It’s just the ticket after a gruelling ninety minutes shopp…
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
