LONDON - (UK Satire) - Scotland Yard has just informed the British press that overnight some asshole vandals broke into the Tower Big Ben and caused extensive damage to the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and to a Keurig tea maker. An eyewitness, w…
An 84-year-old lady, innocently washing her breakfast pots in her kitchen, was given the fright of her life this morning, when a regular household brick came crashing through the window, causing her to turn to her husband, Albert, and ask him: "Wh...
Squaresville police are trying to figure out the meaning of what looks like a new form of vandalism throughout their town. Nearly everything is getting covered with spots. This was first discovered when police officers started getting calls about the...
A 44 year old man from Greenfield has once more appeared before Uppermill magistrates accused of drawing an obscene image on a neighbours car. Doug Graves, appearing in court for the third time in six years, was accused of 'drawing a large cock an...
Calabasas, CA Police from all over the Southern California area responded to a five-alarm alert about a deadly egg attack perpetrated by pop star Justin Bieber on the house next door to him. Earlier egg attacks caused $20,000 damage. "We are too...
Sheriff's deputies in California, with a warrant to search the home of teen pop sensation Justin Bieber, came up short and failed to locate any sign of talent nor the remotest sniff of charisma or charm. Investigators with the Los Angeles County S...
In a recent campaign by Help The Fogies, pensioners are being encouraged to fight back against the youngsters who traditionally terrorise them under the guise of a 'bit of fun'. Traditionally, in America, Trick or Treat is where children and menac...
LOS ANGELES - The Lost Angeles Police Department has just announced its War on Graffiti program. An LAPD spokesperson, Harry Watkinfaust stated that this vandalistic act of tagging buildings, houses, and even automobiles is going to be stopped.
Des Moines, Iowa- A member of "Iowans for Animal Liberation", the animal activist group that recently vandalized the butter cow sculpture at the Iowa State Fair, has been caught. William Baston is in police custody and is singing like a canary, or m...
Archaeologists are up in arms after it has been revealed that the famous Heads on Easter Island have been moved. "It's a travesty," said Jenny Spinner, the archaeologist in charge of the treasures of the South Pacific. "The Heads are a crucial par...
Vandals have destroyed hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of sculptures at the Liverpool Tate Modern. "We're devastated," said Tate Head of Acquisitions, Pauline Quirk. "These were tasteful nudes created by Tracy Emin. What these bastards have...
Anger took hold within the local farming community this weekend, when a vandal ruined their annual ploughing match. The event, designed to reward the best ploughmen for their craft, was to be held in fields just outside a small village in Kent on...
Rolling Stones legend Keith Richards has formally disowned daughter Theodora after she was arrested for drug possession and drawing graffiti on the side of a convent in Lower Manhattan. By the time, I was Theodora's age, I'd been busted 7 times for drugs and had even done a stretch in the Scrubs - and it wasn't just for a couple of narco tabs , if you know what I mean. And as for getting li...
Scotland Yard, London: An example of what Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits as the 'psychological contract' with the public being broken, is when a tin of pink emulsion paint dumped over a two-year old silver Chevrolet and the deflatio...
Branches of several foreign banks have been suffering a concerted attack of vandalism, excrement smeared on windows and pushed into the night deposit boxes after severe dyslexic anarchist, Mary Hinge, joined the Anti-British National Party Organisati...
Pittsburgh, PA - A G20 protestor returning to his car from a busy day of protesting capitalism found his car with a smashed window and missing its radio. Troy Kleagle of Portland, Oregon had driven himself and three other activists across the co...
GLASGOW, Scotland - The director of the Scottish People's Anti-Vandalism League Glenbuck Dumfries has stated that acts of vandalism involving graffiti have now reached epidemic proportions. He pointed out that vandals are spray painting schools, b...
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