Leading Brexiteers have once again condemned the “elite agenda” and vowed to “fight this injustice” all the way to the European Court of Human Rights. Vincent Fuller, raging twonk, has been found guilty of attempted murder after thrusting a knife...
Following in the now popular trend of calling things you don't like "fake" to discredit them, Seattle Convenient Store Clerk, Fred Nunchenhausen declared the knife of a would be robber fake during an armed robbery. Although, Mr. Nunchenhausen was ab...
This year's Notting Hill Carnival passed uneventfully and police praised the public and gang members as reports came in that only 50 people were stabbed. A mere 75 people were arrested for drug-related offences and only 200 police officers were injur...
A Worcestershire man has been brutally stabbed in the leg with a fork, after eating his last Rolo, without offering it to his wife of eight years first. The chocolatey caramel treat has long been associated with the ways of love, with their taglin...
Liverpool: Repeat offender and current Asbo world champion, Martin 'Divvy' Derek of Croxteth, Liverpool today announced he planned to go to the European Court of Human Rights after using one of the revolutionary new Anti Stab knives. THINK SAFETY...
Anne Arundel County Police in Maryland said a man and his parents assaulted and tried to stab police officers when they responded to a report of the family arguing. Police said a 20-year-old son and his parents were arguing in a car around 11 a.m.
Three people were stabbed at the 'Urban Music' Awards at the O2 Arena yesterday in what police have described as 'an unsurprising knife related event'. Usually there is strict security at the venue - even to the extent that when you visit the cine...
London - Mayor Boris Johnson is outraged at the increase in spork stabbings in London. "Spork stabbings are now up to one or two a day. While most incidents have resulted in multiple skin indentations it is only a matter of time before one of these a...
In an unusual turn of events, it was revealed that Dean Fenton, 17, of Peckham, who was stabbed to death last night in an apparent dispute outside a KFC, was not 'the life and soul of the party', 'loved by all who met him' or indeed &...
The scene outside the "Spinal Taps" public house in Harrogate was chaotic last night as revellers spilled onto the street to find that a teenager had not been stabbed.
You know, I was recently reflecting on my last hospital stay. It began something like this: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS THAT STABBING PAIN IN MY CHEST!!! ACK! IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY ARM!!!!! GGGGGGGGGGAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I had a heart attack; a goddamned myocardial infarction! It fuckin' HURT!...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
