Books are evil. Every illiterate person knows this, but now those who can read will know it too. Soon there will be subtle commercials, in print and on TV and in product placements in movies, showing you all how evil it is to read. Reading may…
Putin today has officially recognized the separatist Dumb-Ass region of Russian speaking peoples on the Eastern edge of Ukraine. He then demanded Ukraine stop shelling the Dumb-Ass peoples. Putin is not afraid of sanctions since Russia is far ric…
Oklahoma- Donald Trump supporters planning on attending this weekend's big 'Open Up 'Merica' rally here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, will have to sign a waiver, clearing Trump of any liability if they catch the coronavirus. But they'll also have to take an IQ...
Wayne, NE - A Blue Valley High School senior here courageously fought off two "robot ninjas" and has been awarded the coveted American Hero Award, all in his own head. What wasn't in his own head was his vow to watch over a beautiful cheerleader's gu...
Former Girl of the Playboy Mansion Kendra Wilkinson has been telling her "I'm a Celeb" mates about her time as Hef's girlfriend. She told her jungle pals that sex with Hef wasn't obligatory and that the girls had a choice, but that "they did tend...
Judge Jamie Dean of West Virginia has handed down the ruling that halfwits cannot be prevented from using the county library. "That would be interfering with his rights as a citizen of the United States." "We're alright with most of the kids, b...
Oh my gosh I am sooooo bored right now, and tired, isn't everybody tired. Click like if you have ever been tired, yeah that's how I roll. But you know I think I got to be so tired because I was so bored and then you know my mom's gone out with her new boyfriend Lorenzo and their all too not tired unlike me, who is tired! Anyway forget that because I have work in like 3 hours but that's ok because...
Thousands of Muslims and Bangladeshi democrat constituents in Paterson, turned out to welcome President Obama as he flew in to the lightly affected region of Paterson, NJ, in the wake of hurricane Irene promising aid, jobs, and extended unemployment...
With the Yes and No campaigns for the referendum on the Alternate Voting system now in full swing, it is becoming apparent that the average British punter doesn't understand not only AV but also TV (Traditional Voting). "We've suspected it for a c...
(Santa Cruz, California) - An out-of-shape 42-year-old man experienced a pulled muscle this week as he attempted to hurdle a parked car. When asked why he tried to jump the vehicle in the first place, the victim, elementary school teacher George M...
You read that right, folks: Sarah Palin is a dumbass. There really is no reason to act shocked, or else surprised, by this "new discovery" as, to quote Bob Dole, "I know it; you know it; the American people know it; the world knows it; the good folks on Mars know it," etc. And I really hate to be so blunt about the situation, I really do. But folks, I am unable to put it any other way.
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