Washington, DC – Federal authorities recently cracked down on TikTok, the Chinese-owned video hosting service, because of the information security risks they believe are associated with the very popular social media app. After a hush-hush closed-doo…
The US military has deployed around 5,000 operatives in Afganistan to evacuate it's embassy, American citizens and personnel as soon as possible after President Biden and the NATO announced the retirement of all troops by September the 11th. Obvio…
Recently there has been a heated debate about what exactly is terrorism. After a lot of discussion with countless arguments in live TV and social media, America has finally come to terms and finally look it up at the dictionary. The results are s…
Winston Rumford is a world-renowned linguist who specializes in off-color slang and derogatory terms. When Rumford learned of the ongoing debate about the meaning of the term “numbnuts” he became resolved to come up with the definitive answer. He…
President Biden surprised more than a few people today when he issued invitations to two top spoofers known as Jaggedone and Dr Billingsgate to meet with him at the White House. Asked his reasoning, Biden said “It’s time we get up close and perso…
Many people are in a state of shock today after a righteous whistle-blower blew the lid of a plot hatched by our government and a particular alien species known as the Wembleys. The Wembleys' home planet has not been disclosed, but their appearan…
Well, if you’re afraid of needles you ought to be very happy today! You should also be happy if you hate debates! The CDC has figured out a way to end the COVID-19 vaccine debate. A very happy Dr Fauci today announced the successful completion of a p…
As part of a full-scale effort to save humanity after the Great Pandemic of 2020, the Brookings Institute, a leading US Government think tank has come up with an exciting new idea of government sponsored breeding stations (BS2021). The project has…
The Great Pandemic of 2020 may be over but the struggle for humanity’s survival is just beginning. Those who survived the pandemic must consider themselves very fortunate today but they can’t just rest on their laurels. No sir! Not by a long shot.
A sound in the small hours of the night many people are now discussing seems to be extending rather than reducing. Reported first as located directly over the White House, it has spread throughout the country and into Alaska. Analysts working o…
Someone else has eaten Tim's turkey BLT panini right out of the Town Hall break room fridge. First reports of the scandal emerged at around 12:45 p.m. Wednesday afternoon. Tim Sullivan, the town's Economic Development Director, is alleged to b...
“Did you have a major privacy violation as a child or teenager, like maybe someone sneaking into your room and reading your diary?” asked therapist Christina Carter, probing for the source of her client’s expressed reservations about the prospect of...
Looking forward to having his voice heard, Josh O’Brien of Nashville, Tennessee, was disappointed when his 2020 census form failed to ask for his opinion of the government or of society in general. “I had a lot of feedback that I really think coul...
Desperate to boost its credibility and popular appeal, the Food and Drug Administration is reportedly considering changing its name to the "Pizza and Drugs Administration". "The 'Pizza' wouldn't be referring to just pizza, of course," emphasized F...
Desperate to combat rising rates of chronic disease in an increasingly sedentary indoor culture, the Food and Drug Administration has officially classified 'going outside and remaining there for at least 30 seconds' as exercise. "It's something th...
There can be no disputing that "Make America Great Again" served its purpose well for President Trump. He wasn't the first to use it, but he has a knack of having a finger on the pulse of the country, recycled the phrase - and it helped, it seems.
Mr. Trump’s taking over diplomacy with North Korea has brought renewed condemnation from mainstream Democrats and the MSM. At issue is Mr. Kim’s recent reluctance to proceed further with denuclearization, currently assessed by The Washington Post...
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