Americans were relieved and even overjoyed this week as things finally began to get back to normal. Not only were hugely crowded beaches and urine-salted public swimming pools a sight for sore eyes, people felt a sense of normalcy seeing an increase...
It came as a pleasant surprise to Nate Bowen of Nashville, Tennessee, that what he had previously identified as deep depression was, in fact, profound happiness. "My world's a little rocked," said Bowen. "But it's obviously a fortunate turn of eve...
After 22-year-old Jake Pruitt of Queens, New York, was found dead in his bathtub, his wrists slit and bloody, police officers officially deemed his death a non-tragic suicide. "He really didn't have much going for him," said New York Police Chief...
Despite trying really hard, the town of Wilsonville, North Dakota, just couldn’t come together after a horrible tragedy befell the community. “This is just too much to come back from,” said town mayor Steven Sanders. “People have just thrown in th...
Thoughts and prayers have been shared by several high profile TV personalities and journalists in an attempt to prevent any potential future diabolical act of mass violence. "To the victims of the next tragedy please accept my thoughts and prayers...
For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...
A gas plant explosion in the small town of Highwater, KS is the type of thing that can bring out the best in people. They band together, help each other, generally pitch in and get through the crisis. Highwater had a different idea, however. T...
Mark Cooper, a 21-year-old university student from Oldham, Greater Manchester, has died after misinterpreting a text from his mother. Mark was out jogging when his mum, Susan, sent him the following message: The neighbour's pet, Ed, wants to have...
The picturesque village of Little Divot suffered yet another in a long line of headline making calamities after three local residents met their maker in a most undignified way. The three perverted victims, named locally as Randy B'Stard, Fanny So...
It was a classic case of it seemed like a good idea at the time when Ollie Cromwell started his self-defence class for cross dressers. "Cross dressers get physically assaulted more than any other group," said Cromwell. "Women have had self-defence...
WABASHA, MN-Brett Konsky, 46, went to bed Saturday night thinking everything in his comfortable, if not boring life was going along rather uneventfully. That all changed early Sunday morning when Brett awoke to find he had no feeling at all in hi...
Hilda Tightwad, a 53 year old former dinner lady from Hinge, West Bracketshire, died yesterday after cutting her own head off while attempting to trim her hair. Her devastated husband, Roger, who is confined to a wheelchair after a sheep worrying...
The Greeks have a word for it: Tragedy. It is part of their history and now the Greeks are struggling under the Sword of Damocles, which may fall at any time. 'It is about time the Greeks realised who is charge' complained a member of the Interna...
Glastonbury man, Robin Tripp was today woefully counting the cost of a night on the town, following which, he inadvertently flushed his thirteen year old anorexic daughter down the toilet. A senior police officer described the circumstances as a t...
It's probably self inflicted by morbid over eating, but here at Skoob News we were devastated to learn that a 17 year old could find herself in such dire straits. The very fact that this girl finds herself in a situation where the likelihood of he...
A south London man was today released by police following the hospitalisation of his girlfriend. Noel Greenbaum, 28, told us that the accident resulted from a sex game which went horrifically awry. He explained to us that he and his fiancee had...
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