The people of Whitechapel were in jubilant mood last night after beating off stiff competition from over five hundred major towns across Europe to win the prestigious, European District of Rupture Award, the first East London area ever to do so. E…
A 54-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London repeatedly stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife after a holiday, dolphin-spotting boat trip ended in failure an Old Bailey court heard yesterday. Tracy Dell, a haidresser from Berner Street,…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man whose soul had been laid waste by demonic possession has told a local newspaper that he refused to answer the door to a member of the Mormon church who arrived to drive out the unclean spirit last Tuesday evening. Tob…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has taken a good, long hard look at himself after he spotted the instruction to do so on the timeline of one of his Facebook friends. Toby Dell, a gravity die-caster from Berner Street told The East London Gazette: 'T…
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that he recently took a number of saucy nude photographs of some nude photographs while in the nude himself. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, told The East London Ga…
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London went on a murderous killing spree after a pair of trousers he'd ordered from a catalogue purporting to be, 'The most comfortable trousers you will ever buy' failed to live up to the claim. After tr…
A 45-year-old man who furiously yanked on his dressing gown cord after it became trapped in his boxer shorts has been admitted to hospital with severe injuries, including a torn scrotal sac and testicular trauma. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engine…
A 54-year-old entomologist from Whitechapel in East London last night strongly refuted claims made by a member of the camera crew who accompanied him on a recent trip to study the behaviour of leaf-cutter ants in Borneo that he had a enjoyed a numbe…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he indulged in phone sex with a female work colleague during a marriage guidance session attended by himself and his wife. Toby Dell, from Brushfield Street, told The East London Gazett…
A London man was given two consecutive life sentences at The Old Bailey yesterday after being found guilty of shouting loudly at a burglar who had broken into his home in the early hours of the morning in March 2021. Toby Dell, a retired forklift…
A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that a Facebook friends request from a man he used to associate with in his late teens and early twenties but who he always considered to be an utter twat has left him feeling cornered an…
Tragedy struck in a quiet East London street yesterday, when a circus lion that was being kept in a garden shed by its keeper killed and ate the man's wife and four children. Lion-tamer, Toby Dell, 42, from Vallance Road, Whitechapel, told a local...
A local DIY enthusiast has told The East London Gazette that he converted the bath in his upstairs bathroom into a spacious, walk-in shower - while his wife remained in the tub. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, revealed: "The...
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he was attacked and badly injured by a giant squid as he was trying to ease his stress about the coronavirus outbreak by immersing himself in a relaxing fantasy about swimming with dolphin...
A 37-year-old forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, in Whitechapel, has told reporters that he spotted the ruthless Roman Tribune, Messala, from the epic movie, Ben Hur, drinking in The Lord Rodney's Head public house on Monday evening. Toby D...
A habitual Whitechapel drunkard has been lauded by reality TV star, Honey Boo Boo, who yesterday praised the man for mirroring the chaotic, drink-fuelled life of royal bad girl, Princess Margaret. Miss Boo Boo, who was a guest at a Whitechapel tow...
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has reportedly orbited the planet Venus in a garden shed that he had converted into a rudimentary rocketship over the course of less than a dozen weekends. Toby Dell, a gravity caster at Whitechapel Bell Foundry, blas...
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