New York - The President of Ecuador picked up the scent of the ScotsGnats Leader's ripening sunny-side uppers during a UN hog roast in honor of FIFA. And now he's got Scottish eggnog all over his face. Sturgeon, on a four day fat-finding missio...
Aberdeen, Scotland - A tip-off from anonymous foreign intelligence sauces has seen the seizure of three tons of Colombian cocaine bound for the euphoric Scottish general election market. The bust is the biggest in local living memory and leaves th...
New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue. New Year, one of Scotland's most popular...
Any Bank Buildings vacated by nervous banks after a "Yes" vote could be used to house low risk savings companies willing to lend money to small businesses. The companies will have to use people's savings to generate money and to lend money out polite...
A significant new species of Blood Sucking Tick has been found embedded in Alex Salmon's elbow. Experts at the indigenous species unit under the Stone of Scone in Holyrood Palace described the discovery as "significant". It is thought to be t...
Secret Royal palaces all over Scotland are already being evacuated due to fears of a revival of the William Wallace syndrome coinciding with the release of "Braveheart 2." in September. The film will star Melanie Gibson as Braveheart's red haired dau...
Glasgow - The Venezuelan dictator famously gave his name to legions of 'council housed and violent' Brits known by the pejorative epithet 'Chav'. Identifiable by blingy street-couture chic the subculture's Scottish Nationalist branch is in mournin...
John o'Groats - Scotland's former primate is donning a hairshirt at a secluded rehab for penitent old Catlicks. The retreat is famous for its self-debriefing therapies that let penitents talk themselves out of x-rated stuff deemed too gross for th...
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