PHILADELPHIA - (Sports Satire) - Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni has expressed an interest in signing former Cowboys running back Ezekiel "Feed Me" Elliott. Sirianni says that he thinks Dallas owner Jerry "The Relic" Jones overlooked the fact that…
PHILADELPHIA - (Sports News) - The Eagles recently took a fast food poll and the winner of the favorite fast food of the Philadelphia Eagles was fried chicken. The poll was conducted by The QuinniPinni Polling Agency and they found that the defens…
PHILADELPHIA - (Sports Satire) - Sports Mirror reporter Tortilla Torres writes that the fans of Philadelphia sports teams (i.e. the Phillies, the 76ers, the Flyers, and the Union) can be some of the most fickle of any sports fans in the world; with t…
PHILADELPHIA – (Sports Satire) – Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said that watching his team lose to the Philadelphia Eagles 23-9, was like watching a high school football game, what with all the trick plays his team used. He pointed out to Hercu…
PHILADELPHIA – Sports Mirror is reporting that Manchester United Captain Harry Mcguire has just been offered a one-year contract to become the kicker for the Philadelphia Eagles. If the 6 foot 4 inch tall Mcguire signs with the Eagles he will beco...
PHILADELPHIA – A spokesperson for the NFL Philadelphia Eagles has said that the team has expressed an interest in signing Harry Mcguire, the current captain of the Manchester United Red Devils to a lucrative contract. The Sports Mirror has learned...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Ahmad Abousamra, the FBI's most-wanted terrorist signed a one-game deal Monday with the Eagles, an anonymous league source said Sunday afternoon. Philadelphia has finalized an agreement with the 36-year-old Ahmad Abousamra when...
In what is either a publicity stunt or a desperate desire to find a very qualified clip board holder the Eagles tried out Tim Tebow despite the fact that they just traded for Sam Bradford and re-signed Mark Sanchez. Jeffrey Lurie, owner of the P...
PHILADELPHIA - The Eagles of Philadelphia hovered around their home stadium, Lincoln Financial Field, but in the end they lost the game in the final seconds on a Saint's field goal. The Drew Brees-led Saints beat the Eagles 26-24 in an NFL Wild Ca...
PHILADELPHIA - For much of the game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Detroit Lions, Lincoln Financial Field disappeared underneath the tons of snow that began falling two hours before the start of the game. Someone asked if magician David B...
EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey - The green Eagles from Philadelphia flew into New Jersey and after they were done, they had beaten the New York Giants 36-21 handing them loss number cinco, as they say in Spanish Harlem. One sports reporter who has co...
DENVER - The Broncos fans at Sports Authority Field at Mile High Stadium were literally floating on air when the final gun sounded and their team had soundly trounced the Philadelphia Eagles 52-20. The 52 points broke a single game franchise recor...
NFL At Super Bowl XLVII: "The Secondary Sucks, And It Is Your Fault." Unnamed sources close to NFL scapegoat-finder / Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he will be issuing a statement tomorrow blaming the shitty play of the cornerbacks and safet...
Andy Reid is (former Phillies Manager) Danny Ozark with a different-shaped ball. And huge, pendulous boobs. I am So SICK of hearing that Andy Reid is the winningest coach in Eagles' history. That speaks more to longevity than accomplishment. Fred Bruney has a perfect winning record as Eagles coach, he never lost a game. Want him back? Rich Kotite has a better post-season win/loss record...
PHILADELPHIA - Quarterback Michael Vick's team, the Philadelphia Eagles, is currently sitting on top of the NFL's NFC Eastern Conference with a 3-2 record. And it appears that, as usually happens with people who get in trouble, Old Mother Trouble...
After Sunday's embarrassing performance to the Eagles, the Techno Viking challenged Dallas quarterback Tony Romo to a 50-yard line dance off. With all his dignity already stripped, Tony had nothing to lose by accepting the challenge. To a...
Whatever magic dust Michael Vick was using to play at the level that made him a serious league MVP has worn off, so says Philadelphia Eagles elephantine head coach Andy Reid. "And he better f--king find some more, and quick," said Reid, while snac...
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