NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – One of the greatest fighters to ever strap on a pair of boxing gloves has just told the sports media that he is going to enroll in college. “Iron” Mike Tyson, who had more first round knock-outs than anyone in boxin…
CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Word coming out of Harvard University, is that one of its star female wrestlers, Penny Saddlehorn, has just been banned. According to iNews reporter, Kitty Segovia, it appears that Saddlehorn, who had a…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House insiders say that the president is fit to be tied over the fact that Harvard University received a huge government check. When he first learned about the money given to one of the wealthiest universities in the world...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The original copy of the Columbia University transcript of Barack Hussein Obama; aka, Barry Soetoro, was found as a result of a pigeon drop scam that required Dr. Billingsgate to deposit a large amount of money in a brown paper ba...
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - The Boston Consortium announced today that the U.S. is running out of Ph.D. positions. With a student count of 122,000, the Boston Consortium Schools report they cannot possibly guarantee their Ph.D. candidates jobs when they...
The Oxford English Dictionary online has been updated to include some "Americanisms." Last year the quarterly publications included new words or terms such as "Selfing" and "OMG,." as in "OMG, I Am, Like, Literally Unfriending You." The new online update includes: Bullshit. n, adj. A term associated with such politicians as Sen. Ted Cruz of the state of Texas, who was both a brilliant und...
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has put military men and women off limits to predatory for-profit colleges that have traditionally preyed upon the weak and stupid, including veterans of the U. S. Army, the U. S. Air Force, the U. S. Navy, th...
Harvard has approved a kinky sex club called the Harvard Munch. The club will be open to both men and women which has caused a bit of a stir. Previously the official sex clubs were men only. The club is based around the Fifty Shades books and tha...
Harvard has made headlines this week with the revelation that over 125 of its students are under investigation for allegedly collaborating on a take-home final in a civics class. Let's look at some other notable cases involving plagiarism. c. 100 A.D.: Citing similarities between the two main characters, including sinlessness and virgin birth, authors of the Bhagavad Gita claim that popular be...
Washington DC: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) announced on the Senate floor "the word is out" that a high placed White House source had confided she knew where President Obama's birth, passport and Harvard Law School records were hidden.
Cambridge, Massachusetts - America's top hairologists at Harvard University have at last concluded their study of the best-rated hairstyles for people who suffer from Sociophobia. Studies find that about 13% of the US population suffers from some so...
In one of the most bizarre turns of research, medical and psychological researchers from the United States and Great Britain have clashed over studies investigating "Movers and Shakers". Professors at the Picadilly Hovel University in Tweed at Sus...
Cambridge MA: Larry O'Mara the owner of Larry's Bar and Grill, a working class tavern in this city, was presented an honorary PHD degree in psychology by Harvard University. The degree was in recognition of Larry's counseling people in his establishm...
Six college students, who are attending Harvard University, conducted a survey across America and found that 63% of Americans complain about everything. The study was headed by Jessica Dearan, a junior at the school, who told reporters: "Throu...
Washington, D.C. - As Sgt. James M. Crowley of the Cambridge Police Department and Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. were let into the Rose Garden of the White House, they were taken aback at the image of their Commander in Chief and leader of...
Cambridge, Massachusetts - The new alleged incriminating evidence comes as Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. is attempting to clear his name, after being arrested for causing a disturbance at his own home, when Cambridge police responded to a reported...
The world is coming to end. Fact. Why? Well, Paris Hilton is going to Harvard University. Yes, you read correctly. The heiress with less I.Q. points than a wooden spoon has been accepted into one of the top colleges in the world. Hilton announced...
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