Convicted serial killer Danny Gun has initiated a law suit against Killing People Film Productions to create change in the way Hollywood casts its actors playing the roles of criminals. Mr. Gun, in his lawsuit, claims that he has been passed over f…
New York, NY - Tool News Service According to the news wire, Jeffrey Toolbin has been promoted by The New Yorker and appointed as the moderator for the final Presidential Debate. Jeffrey “tool” Toobin has selected Michael Jackson’s Beat It as the…
At Swindon magistrates court today, PC Harverson gave evidence he’d stopped Mr Brendan O’Lox driving his car to inform him his lights weren’t working. “The defendant said, ‘Thanks, but it’s not my car. I’ve just stolen it. Can I get the lights fix…
Pomona, CA. An elderly man who thought he should have been excused from jury duty for medical reasons reluctantly appeared at the municipal court here last Monday when jury officials rejected his claim. He still hoped that the judge would recognize h...
The Crown Prosecution Service has decided not do the one thing that’s in their actual name: prosecute a member of the Crown. The CPS (Cowardly Ponce Service - see what we did there?) have admitted that the Duke of Edinburgh won’t be prosecuted over h...
Angry Manchester United fans raised a call today for crowdfunding an appeal to get their team's manager, José Mourinho, jailed after he reached a deal with the Spanish state on a one-year suspended sentence in a long-running tax fraud case. Famous...
*DISCLAIMER* All names of people and organisations contained herein, barring Mr Trump, are works of fiction and any resemblance to any real figure is purely coincidental WASHINGTON, D.C., January 21st, 2017 - BREAKING: Since President Donald Trump...
In a major victory for a campaign run by The Sunday Telegraph, the Department for Justice will move to bring in a new law protecting criminals who break into people's houses. Ahead of the new law being introduced in the House of Lords this week, C...
NYC Police told the press this morning that they had arrested one Howard Applegate for car theft after they got him out of the trunk while screaming to anyone he heard on the street to call 911. Applegate confessed that he was the person stripping...
A man was arrested yesterday for causing criminal damage in a Greenwich Village art gallery. He is accused of sneezing maliciously and abundantly on a derivative and prententious abstract painting which was on display, a work valued at $5,000.
A Gateshead man has been left devastated after losing his cosh. Alf Umpyer, a notorious criminal, lost his cosh last Thursday night while on the prowl in the posh, upper-class district of the town. He had put the cosh in his coat pocket whilst...
Master criminal and Isle of Wight's most wanted man, Curly O'Halloran evaded police yet again, after a four hour siege in a barn on the outskirts of Shanklin. The wily thief had recently robbed a bakery van and fled to the secluded barn, with the...
Everyone deserves a second chance...or do they? This is the premise of a controversial new reality show to air in the autumn. The show's contestants are made up of a group of social pariahs who, most would agree are beyond the pale, and many would be...
Manchester has suffered the worst riots and public unrest in the city's history. Yobs, youths, and grown men that should know better, laid siege to the centre of Manchester last night. A government spokesman said early this morning: "These fol...
A new government ruling means that from the first of May, all actors who appear with children on television or in films, will have to undergo a CRB check before being allowed to start filming. "We're going to have to incorporate it into the castin...
Not content with requiring three different bills with an address, a passport, driving licence, birth certificate, marriage certificate, a letter from your mum and a valid credit card, the big two video rental agencies are now going to require a Crimi...
David Cameron said he felt sick at the thought of prisoners being granted the right to vote. Angry Cameron hit out at Euro politicians in Brussels. The Prime Minister is determined to stand up for our British rights. He said the right to vote...
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