The number of recruitment consultants has increased exponentially over the last six months say analysts at NecroManPower Ltd. It has got to the extent that there are five recruitment consultants to every other job in the UK. The majority of the p...
Buoyant environmentalists across the UK have asserted their satisfaction that the anticipated surge in sea levels around the globe has been comprehensively outstripped by an average 5.7% rise in household water prices. Scientists believe sea level...
Evel Knievel, the former stunt racing driver, is now responsible for DirectGov's 'Think' road safety campaign, as part of government plans to hive off key departmental responsibilities to those who haven't the first clue about their area of assigned...
British Gas has announced a 5% increase in pretending to care about its customer base after confirming it will slash 5% off electricity bills which increased by 16% in August. The move comes a day after EDF ramped up their own attempts at feigning...
Many City workers are concerned the gap between rich and poor may still not be sufficiently vast for their private jets to taxi through, according to a report by a think-tank. The St Paul's Institute report, Value and Values: Perceptions of Ethic...
WASHINGTON DC - Recent college graduate Molly Katchpole who not only is broke like a joke but also an aspiring politician earned her ticket to the White House when she single-handedly pulled the nations second largest bank's hands out of her pockets...
The government plans to launch a new lotto style 'National Hottery' to provide the warmth of hope to those members of the electorate struggling to combat the rising problem of 'fuel poverty', according to a leaked report. The report claims that go...
A British high street bank, beginning with H and ending with an X (certificate) has adopted a brand new customer policy for those wishing to apply for credits. They are writing to their customers and telling them to "f++k off" because they have no...
US TV network Fox has said all future seasons of 'The Simpsons' will be produced in black and white after admitting it the current economic climate meant it could no longer afford to add colour to the long-running comedy. In a statement, it said a...
Bobby Geldorf has announced plans for a worldwide fund raiser for the world. Following the loss of trillions and trillions of pounds, presumably to aliens or by sheer carelessness, Sir Bobby aims to raise awareness of the worldwide recession. S...
The latest figures released by the treasury indicate that the UK's operating cash balance is vastly inferior to that of the takings from the fruit machine used in Eastenders' eponymous pub, the Queen Vic. The figures show that at present the count...
Media reporting staff at the BBC are up in arms over the corporation's coverage of the News International crisis. For years, listeners to Radio 4's Today programme and viewers of TV news bulletins have been accustomed to listening to media corresp...
The government has admitted sweeping public sector cost cuts are much more difficult to deliver. This follows the results of a study conducted by an independent think tank, which revealed that the move would affect the lives of MPs, and not just the...
A banker whose manner was blunt Squandered investor's funds on a punt. The whole lot was lost At incredible cost To the nations that all bore the brunt. Just one man, whose shoulders were broad, Was sacked, for reporting the fraud. The judge in his case Said "I don't like your face" So he lost 'cause the system is flawed. That outcome ignited his zeal; Off he went to the Court of A...
Iceland has rejected for a second time a proposal to repay the Netherlands and UK for losses incurred after the collapse of the country's banking system. The result means that the 2 governments are still £3.5 billion out of pocket after already re...
United Nations, Manhattan, New York, USA: Whilst, Global Leaders and Politicians argue about which position the deck chairs should be arranged and who should be sitting where! Some people ask "What Iceberg? It makes no difference people of the...
Utah, TX: M. Cerillo, leader of the radical 'Christian Fist of Humility' cult, made the shock announcement on TV this morning that God is on the verge of bancruptcy and desperately needs everybody's help. Opening his Help-God-A-Thon, Cerillo said...
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