Exterior: Our deepest sympathies on the passing of your grandpa. Interior: You may wish to know that as he died, and blood poured from his asshole and buboes popped to release noxious greenish-yellow fluids all over his body, he said you were…
While on his visit to The Vatican, President Biden, only the second Catholic president in the history of the United States, said he was excited to see what he could get for his Andrew McCutchen rookie card. “Cutch is a five-time all star. He has…
A new range of greeting cards is to be released by the marketing company Cruel Bastards Incorporated. The cards are designed to cheer up people following tragic and sad, everyday life events. Death, relationship break-ups, and a good football team...
Cards- There are many types of card games, most of which are designed to pit the players against each other in order to cultivate a hostile antagonistic society, with all the problems that entails. Card games were contrived by the ruling class to control the proletariat, simple-minded, illiterate peasants who were easily manipulated by such tricks that appealed to their base instincts. Eve...
KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...
LAS VEGAS - President Obama traveled to Las Vegas to speak at the Annual Retired Casino Card Dealers Dinner. He told the assembled group that he wanted them all to know that he did not have any aces up his sleeve. He then kidded that he did have a...
RENO, Nevada - The 21st Annual Reno Professional Poker Tournament saw newcomer Kipp "Chips" Hickenbolt, 29, win the main prize of $9 million. Hickenbolt, who hails from Little Rock, Arkansas, said that the last time he was this happy was back in h...
For as long as there have been florists and card shops, February 14th has been called Valentine's Day in order to boost sales of flowers and cards during a slump in the card selling calendar. One section of society has long since come to hate this da...
Every student, at universities across the country, will be given a Christmas card under a scheme to make them feel more welcome on campus. In order to qualify, students will have to attend at least one lecture before terms ends in mid-December. In...
Annapolis MD: The governing board of the American Pinochle Association (APA) has proposed updating this old French card game to encompass the 21st Century concept of same sex marriage. A Pinochle deck of 48 cards consists of two copies for each o...
Traditionally on Father's Day, there is one subset of Father's who do not joyfully open up a card that tells them that for one day they can be the boss before handing the title back to their wife, nor do they get a little present of beer, beans or be...
High Street card shops have hailed the National Stalker and Harassment Day a great success, with millions of cards sold nationwide. "We're really glad that the government have come up with this new day to accompany Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day,...
Greetings cards have been shared between people for thousands of years. Archeologists believe that the first greetings card was sent by ancient Egyptian Pharaoh Amenhotep to his cat Mrs Whiskers, in the 13th century BC. Since then, the greetings c...
CHICAGO - The leader in the bubblegum trading card industry has decided that it will honor the request of its thousands of card buying customers and fans and remove all Osama Bin Laden Bubblegum Trading Cards from their store displays. A spokesper...
Soccer's President Sepp Blatter has announced that starting from next year referees will be issued with additional cards to the current yellows and reds. Two additional cards, a green and a white, will be needed because of the new 'sin-bin' rule...
NEW YORK CITY - Chew This, the bubble gum trading card company that will be producing the new Justin Bieber Bubble Gum Trading Cards has already had advance orders of 10 million cards. Company spokesperson Broussard T. Winniefelt stated that the s...
Bedbug sniffing dogs, during a routine search of the Zawahee Shipping Company warehouse in New Jersey, discovered a shipment of multi-colored greeting card envelopes, destined for the Al Ahamaamad Printing Company. The envelopes were embedded with be...
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