Hákarl News: The world has thanked Justin Welby for his generosity and goodwill today after he accepted to raise two orphaned twin donkeys from a Ukraine zoo. They have now been welcomed into Welby's home after arriving through the Ukraine visa sc…
SAGINAW, Michigan - (Satire News) - Press Extra's Voodoo Dupree has stated that a retired ladies shoe salesman has been taken into custody for mentally, emotionally, and physically abusing his 6-year-old pet Dalmation. A FedEx delivery man who hap…
Quatar - Football superstar and Gold Boot Award, Mbappe, told the world's media that he was getting a 'Mpuppy' to help him get over the devastating loss to Argentina. "As soon as I get back to France, I'm getting a Mpuppy," told Mbappe in his pres…
Genes are fun! With them, you can bring the dead back to life. Pull a Jesus. I wonder if Lazarus ever got a say in being resurrected. As in: thanks, Jesus, but doesn’t this mean I have to die AGAIN? Thanks, asshole. Why don’t you go and bring a baby…
Hello there, Raymond Ving here, as you may have guessed. Welcome to yet another article about my life and my experience. I am now well into my 80's, and I have lived a life, I can tell you that for nothing, but my biggest disappointment is m…
Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world. "I suppose we should have seen…
JOLIET, Illinois – (Satire News) – The American Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has just released a list of ten pet products that went on the market, and were almost instantly taken off the market for this reason or that. THE LIST…
D.C - Prez Biden suspended the horses that were involved in the Great Western rodeo roundup of Haitian migrants trying to cross the Texas border last week. Officially, it was the 'use of horses' at the border that got suspended, after viral vide…
TOMBSTONE, Arizona – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency reports that a door-to-door flour tortilla salesman in Tombstone, has been arrested for first-degree turtle abuse. Local authorities arrested Derek Simon Sipplovax, 29, for endangering a harmle…
Although he’s a bird, he’s achieved a status in his region that most world leaders can only dream of. Vinny the T (for Turkey) is a constant presence in the North Shore region. While his presence is reassuring to law abiding citizens and conscientiou…
Hello, everyone. It's Tuesday again, and time to delve into that magical box of mysteries that is the Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals! Today, I have selected from the zillions of uninteresting animals available a particularly uninterestin…
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…
The dugong is severely uninteresting. Its name is uninteresting; its appearance is uninteresting; and, by God, everything else about it is just as uninteresting - if not more so. For a start, the name 'dugong' has a rather uninteresting ring to it…
A quiet night in front of the TV spent watching a movie was ruined beyond redemption for one family last night, when, in the midst of their viewing, a gruesome impostor invaded their living room, and scared the living daylights out of them. The Ke…
Well, it's Tuesday again, uninteresting animal lovers, and time for another instalment of our once-popular series on uninteresting animals. Before we get to this week's specimen, we'd just like to apologize for the 16-month gap since the last one;…
After the news from Germany that 207 mink farms have been infected with a new strain of Coronavirus, and the concern that the virus may mutate further in other animals, it's been revealed that ALL animals, everywhere, are to be eliminated from the fa…
The world of animal-lovers was in a frenzy of excitement this morning, after it was revealed that, for the last three years, a man from Suffolk has been unaware that a vole had been living in his beard. Ronald Lee, 49, of Ipswich, lives alone in a…
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