Jokes

Showing:

All jokes submitted by queen mudder.

Show all jokes.
Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)

Donald Trump goes vegan

Donald Trump goes to see the doctor, complaining a newly imposed strict vegan diet is a real pain in the ass. The physician immediately gives him an MRI scan confirming an initial diagnosis....

Read full joke…

No 69 on Joe Biden's list of gaffes

Vice President Biden has denied endorsing Hillary Clinton for her 2016 presidential run....

Read full joke…

Marvin Gaye

The Motown singer was asked about the inspiration behind his hits and named President Obamas favorite vacation hot spot of Marthas Vineyard where he relaxed by turning his attention to animal husbandry....

Read full joke…

Obama the famous orinthologist

Barack Obama has been outed as a bit of a bird fancier on the Secret Services Twitter account. Agents say the President sometimes enjoying private down time showing off his hobby to other bird-brained pals....

Read full joke…

Plastic surgery

A Los Angeles plastic surgeon has pleaded Not Guilty to gross professional misconduct after sculpting a massive, wobbly 80 inch ass on a female patients behind. Your Honor, the lady pleaded with me to give her...

Read full joke…

Bum rap

An airport worker at one of Americas largest package delivery companies has pleaded Not Guilty to stealing a $160,000 diamond before trading it for a $20 bag of weed. 20 year-old Wally Morrison said he swallowed...

Read full joke…

Islamic State secret weapon

The Pentagon has received intelligence that Islamic State insurgents have launched a lethal new submarine squadron in Baghdad. Written in weird Persian hieroglyphics the data needs careful deciphering before US generals...

Read full joke…

British hospitality website

Remember when booking a stay at a British hotel that theyll charge you for extras such as towels, sheets and toilet paper. Customers paying by credit card can have it deducted from their final bills. Anybody unhappy with...

Read full joke…

Obama the Pothead

A high school teacher who tutored Barack Obama says he never initially suspected the student was a stoner. At first I thought this guys just incredibly thorough and painstaking when it comes to doing his homework, Dr Devious...

Read full joke…

Cliff Richard bust

Police have raided Cliff Richards Sunningdale apartment following a tip off. An anonymous caller said cleaners had found something utterly horrible stuffed behind the shadows of the singers closet. Turns out it was an early...

Read full joke…

Russian divorce

A Russian fertility doctor has been named as co-respondent in an ugly divorce case. Mr Boris Rasputin claims his sub-fertile sperm sample was switched by the doctor for the embryologists own high octane ejaculate. How do you...

Read full joke…

Jewish landlords

A whole Palestinian village is in the dock for not paying any rent for the past two years. Their spokesman tells the judge its not their fault because nobody ever billed them for the money. But prosecutors insist monthly rent...

Read full joke…

Obama's Iraq blitz

President Obama receives intelligence about heavy drinking by Iraqs warring Islamist militants. He summons the Joint Chiefs of Staff who confirm reports of mass drunkenness in Baghdad last week by the normally abstinent ISIS War...

Read full joke…

Obama's Birthday

The Presidents Physician gets a 3am phone call from Barack Obama who thinks he overdid it celebrating his birthday. Symptoms include feeling spaced out, sweaty and terrible heartburn after eating an entire birthday cake made with...

Read full joke…

Putin in the closet

A newly appointed Russian security chief has asked the KGB about gay rumors surrounding President Vladimir Putin. Comrade, one of the spooks replies, thats like asking whats the difference between President Putin and the tragic submarine...

Read full joke…

Space Station surveillance report

The ISS has apologised about its malfunctioning eye-in-the-sky. Early reports showed a massive, unidentified tornado-like object on New Jerseys George Washington Bridge about to obliterate the Garden State. Fortunately that threat has now...

Read full joke…

Law school

A Southern law school recruiter at a New York jobs fair invites 100 graduates to apply for fast tracking to an exclusive course. After a quick preamble describing the degree course he asks the audience Did yall go to Harvard? Uh, Yale! one...

Read full joke…

Clinton, Biden, Obama and now George Dubya Bush plead poverty

Thats nothing, Dubya said tonight after President Barack Obama told TV viewers he and Michelle were so strapped for cash they had to resort to twice monthly payday loans. When Laura and I left the White House nearly bankrupt and lost our Triple...

Read full joke…

Irish Piss Process

Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams walks into Antrim Police Station saying he wants to make a statement about Boston Colleges oral hysteries concerning The IRA. Its all the bloody Popes fault, officer, he tells the desk sergeant, for making Protestant...

Read full joke…

Putin's new wife

Gorgeous former Olympic rhythmic gymnast Alina Kabaeva is giving Party Wives an anatomy lecture about the importance of toning up abdominal muscles after the birth of a baby. She strips down to her sparkly leotard to demonstrate a few kicks and...

Read full joke…

Joe Biden on Valerie Jarrett

President Obamas senior adviser for Pubic Liaison and Intergovernmental Affairs is NOT dating NBC personality Ahmad Rashad, Vice President Joe Biden said today. The off-the-record remark to a NewsCorpse reporter comes amid widespread rumors calling...

Read full joke…

Jimmy Savile and royal advice

The old perv once told Prince Philip he found older women absolutely terrifying and the thought of shagging one gave him panic attacks. I totally sympathise Prince Philip remarked before recalling some dreadful aversion therapy hed once experienced...

Read full joke…

Russia's Foreign Minister Lavrov

His mother knew as soon as he was born Pussy Riot singer Putina Klitoriskaya said, thats why she called him Sir Gay. Friends of Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Viktorovich Lavrov, 69, of course deny such slurs upon his manhood. After all, at a recent...

Read full joke…

Monica Lewinsky marriage proposal

The ex-White House intern says she got the shock of her life when Utahs former Attorney General asked her to marry him. I had no idea John was going to propose, Monica said, because hes already married, has five kids and is a pretty strait-laced Mormon....

Read full joke…
Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)
Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

RSS & Feeds

The Spoof is proud to present all stories as RSS Feeds.

More Info…

Go to top
… readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

✔ Continue ? Find out more